Wednesday, February 14, 2018

A good Parent

I always question myself if I am a good mom or a parent. I think I am a pretty good mom but there are some days when I think I could be doing more. Some rare occasion, I also feel like I've been too good a mom and I should chill out and not stress myself too much.

What are the qualities that make a good mom or a good parent? I was thinking about this as I was in the shower today. (I know right, even in the shower I am thinking about my kids!)
Honestly, I think I am pretty alright. I mean, I dont starve my kids, I dont put my kids in danger, I dont beat them up, what more can one do to be a good parent?

A good parent is not the perfect parent. It is not about being perfect. My mum is the perfect mum in my eyes. She was there to provide for us, to support us, to basically give the best that she could given the situation she was in. We never went on holiday because she was always working, to provide for us and boy did we have a good life! We really had everything we ever wanted. It wasn't perfect because she couldn't be there to do my homework with me (again, because she was working!) but she made sure we had our tuition teacher to be there to guide us with our homework. I guess what I'm trying to say is we all try to give our best to our children. Of course being a SAHM I have plenty of time to do homework with my kids and a working mom wouldn't have that but we all try our best nonetheless.

When I see my kids taking things for granted, I get really upset. I am helicoptering them pretty much all the time. My husband is also a helicopter dad. We are there for them at every step of the way but sometimes they take it for granted. Like I am always there to help (or sometimes even to do) their school project. I personally love doing them but when they couldn't be bothered to even help complete it, I get really upset. I feel like because I am there to do it, they take it for granted that it will be done. That's not how I want them to be. They should take ownership of their work and be independent. I want them to grow up to be independent human beings. I am very independent because my mum wasnt always there because she had to work.

So you see, there are all these little things that makes me question my parenting skills sometimes. I wish I can just let them fail their school project (if they choose not to complete it) but then I feel like a failure if I dont push them to do it. You get what I mean?

We all try to be good parents. We only have one chance to get it as right as possible. That is tough! You have 50% chance of getting it right and 50% chance of getting it completely wrong. It's not like we can do R&D on our kids. We dont have the time.

I have to say being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I hope I won't screw up!

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