Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Heartache

Everyone will go through some kind of heartache at some point. It is something you cannot avoid. Unless you are a robot and have no feelings.

Today, my heart is aching.

It is aching so much I pray Allah will give me strength and make me stronger.

After dropping off my husband to the airport to perform his Umrah, my daughter was obviously in tears as she has never been away from her papa for long. This time will be the longest. I saw them saying their goodbyes and my heart just sank.

That night, she suddenly fell ill. No fever but I suddenly heard her breathing is not normal. No cough or anything like that but I could hear her wheezing badly. She is not asthmatic but she has had one random attack once (even that I dont think it was asthma but the doctor did get her to go on the neb). That was it. But last night, she couldn't sleep at all. Her breathing was really bad. I tried all sorts of home remedies but although it helped her sleep a bit it didnt help all together. For that reason, she had to miss school today.

Today, I decided to take her to the doctor. I was really sad that our normal Paed whom we love and trust is still on his CNY break. Sadly, we had to pick a different doctor. I dont have any back-up doctors as we hardly ever see any doctors. After thinking about it, I decided to go to Desa Parkcity Sime Darby Medical Centre purely because my best friend is also a doctor there and if need be, I can get her assistance or second opinion.

True enough her lungs are really tight. Hence, the breathing problems. She had to go on the nebuliser twice and Doctor wanted to admit her but I told him to let me try to supervise her at home first. He agreed but I need to monitor her closely. If she is not able to breathe properly tonight, a trip to ER is a must. My heart broke into pieces. I can't imagine other mothers with sick children must have felt especially those with chronic diseases. God bless them and please give them strength.

Fingers cross with the heavy medication, supplemented by whatever home remedies I know I can administer at home she will be OK soon. Such a bad timing to be sick especially since I am a single parent while my husband is in Mekkah but Allah is the best planner.

I pray for my husband to find peace in Mekkah to perform his Umrah and for us here to be strong.
Amin.

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