Sunday, December 9, 2018

1 week

It has been 1 week since my maid left. My kids have been on school holidays for about 1 week too. Time has gone by quite fast, surprisingly.

My daughter was on her school holiday program for 3 days. During that 3 days, she was in school all day while my son was home with me. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. We were pretty occupied.

Well, what can I say, the house isn't as neat as it was when my maid was around. But it was THAT much neater. I guess we could live with a little bit of mess here and there.
My kids aren't as occupied as they usually are when my maid was around. They spent time with me and played with me instead. I was spending less time on the phone too, which is actually a good thing because no one should spend that much time on their gadgets anyway.

I am tired, yes. That is no surprise!
I have to do all the cleaning, with some help from my husband. But it is manageable.

I fell sick last week for about 2 days. I guess my body isn't built to do housework! But luckily, I had my izumio, I had my oils and I was good without any visits to the hospital.

Overall, we are actually managing quite well. It is also nice to have the house to ourselves. I also realised that my maid isn't as thorough as I thought she was. God knows what she does with her free time when my kids are in school because there are a lot of things she could have done to maintain the house but it was not done. I guess it was my fault too for not "monitoring" her.

Yea, life was easier without maid. But I've always believed that no one is indispensable other than blood although my kids are missing my maid like crazy, I tell them that we will be OK.

We are OK.
Sunday, December 2, 2018

Saya Anak Malaysia

I went to Assunta Primary School in Petaling Jaya from 1986 - 1991. Many of the most memorable moments in my life occurred when I was a child, were during my time in Assunta Primary school. There, I also had the best lessons in life about being Malaysian. Assunta Primary was just a normal government school but everything about it is everything missing from all the schools there is here now in Malaysia. It made me wonder if we will ever get that ever again and made me wonder if my children will ever know what it is like to be proud of being Anak Malaysia. I have a feeling, they will never know. That, I find very disturbing and sad at the same time.

In Assunta Primary:

1. My Principal was a nun. Sister Theresa her name was. She dressed like a nun to school, with a veil and all. I remember her as being so gentle and kind. I didn't get to talk to her much when I was in school but I remember I was really sad when she left and cried buckets. I cried so much that someone needed to calm me down. I don't know why I was so sad but she was someone I look up to back in school. She retired when I was in standard 3 or 4 if I'm not mistaken. She took me to the church next door quite often. To observe prayers but that, didn't do to my own faith whatsoever. I knew I was a muslim. Observing other religion made me respect other religion even more and I think that goes the same with my other friends as well, they too respected mine.

2. Assunta Primary canteen introduced me to many different local food. I had my first nasi lemak there. It was cooked by the Chinese canteen lady and served by the Indian canteen lady. They also had other stuff like Mee Hoon Soup, Mee Kari and other local food. I was quite a fussy eater growing up but I remember loving the food at my school canteen. Food is a big part of being Malaysian, I feel.

3. All my friends spoke to me in English or Malay. No issues whatsoever. We were all Malaysians and come from many different races. We understood each other perfectly well. English is not my first language. I spoke malay at home. It was in school that I started learning and speaking English. Most of my friends spoke either English or Malay. Again, no issues there. It was very muhibbah. Lessons were all taught in Malay but I don't see my non Malay friends complaining about it like they do today. Some non Malay friends even did better than me in Bahasa Malaysia. Oh yea, back then it wasn't Bahasa Melayu, it was Bahasa Malaysia. 

3. There was a good mix in my school. We had friends that come from different backgrounds and races. I had very rich friends (they had super big houses!), I had not so rich friends too. One friend's dad was a taxi driver. Some friends come to school by motorbike, others ride the school bus and of course some lucky ones had their drivers come to pick them up from school. We all came from different races and economic background but it didn't bother us one bit. The school was very muhibbah and a multiracial environment. I love that very much. 

4. Every Monday, we all line up and sang the Negaraku, followed by the Selangor song and then the school song, which was in English. We also read the Rukun Negara. We know it all by heart. 

Today, most government school consist of more than 90% malay. Kids these days are always confused about who they are. They don't identify to being anak malaysia anymore. Ask any kids and they'll probably say they are English. They think what they speak is who they are. 

My kids go to International school. It is because I do not have faith in the government school anymore. I feel really sad because on one hand, I want them to get the best education but I am sacrificing a lot because they will grow up not knowing their roots. It is sad that they are learning about Egyptian history (for their history class) but they don't even know the history of their beloved country Malaysia. It is sad that they are learning about the world geography (for geography class) but they don't even know the Malaysia geography. 

I know I can supplement them with these information and education at home but wouldn't it be better if the Malaysian education system to be better and strong so we have faith in it again? This is the future leaders and Malaysian we are talking about. I just feel that we are all so divided and everyone is playing the racial cards and everyone is so sensitive. I believe it is all politics. 

I still have high expectations and hopes for this new Malaysia government. I haven't seen much done in the education ministry apart from discussion about black shoes and socks. I wish we can go back to how it used to be. I'm really sad my kids don't have that. But maybe this is the new era...maybe I should let go....

But Malaysia is tanah tumpah darahku......... I cannot give up hope. 

She's gone

The day has finally arrived. My maid finally left us for her month break, yesterday.

I wasn't sure how I was feeling. To be honest, I was quite looking forward to it. I felt like I needed freedom, which didn't make sense because not only it is the school holiday and I need help with the kids, I also have to cook and clean! Like I said, I am not domesticated at all. But yet, I feel liberated, somehow that she's gone. Ya, sometimes, I am crazy like that.

Don't get me wrong, I HATE doing housework. I HATE cooking and the rest of it. I love my maid and the help I get around the house. I just don't like to feel like "I NEED someone in my life or I can't function" because I don't need anyone and I can function with or without anyone. Get it?

OK so my daughter is the most upset in the house that Ratni is leaving. My daughter is my husband's favourite person in the world so when she is upset, he gets upset too. So, I would say, both of them are the most affected by my maid's trip. My son is close to my maid, but like me, he doesn't need anyone to feel happy. I like that about him. He is sad that she's leaving but he didn't cry much. My daughter is more passionate about things I supposed. She's also quite a drama queen. She's like I can't function without Ratni type of person.

At 5am on the day of her flight, I was woken up by the sound of our Rainbow vacuum cleaner. Would you believe that? Ratni was busy trying to leave the house in mint condition which is very nice of her. Other maids would probably leave the junk behind but she was working right up till it was the time she had to leave.

Right when we got into the car, she started crying her eyes out. Mind you, when she left Jakarta, she didn't even shed a single tear. In fact, it seemed like she was happy to leave her family behind. Her kids didn't cry and she didn't cry. Everyone looked happy. But this time, she started crying in the car and kept hugging my kids the whole way to the airport.

Once we checked in, the kids requested for McDonalds with kakak before she goes in. It broke my heart to see this. I caught them hugging and crying at McDonalds.

My daughter also wrote a letter for my maid and I asked if I could read it. See that sad face! It is so cute but sad at the same time. The letter wrote, "Bye Ratni. You will be back on the 8th January. I will miss you. Bye"

At the gate, again the waterworks was like crazy. I don't remember them crying this much for me. Hmm....

In the car, I told them of their new duties. They sounded excited about it. At home, after dinner, they helped me with the dishes and we tidied the kitchen together. My husband left for outstation work that evening so it was the first time I've ever been with the kids all by myself. Kind of scary to be honest but we did OK.

After we cleaned up the kitchen, I got them to shower and got ready for bed. My kids love to play "pretend" game with my maid. After I showered them...

Daughter: Pretend mummy is our new maid!!!!

Darling, I AM!
Friday, November 30, 2018

School Holiday is here

Gosh, can you believe it? School holiday is here!!! ALREADY?

I am so not ready for school holiday and why did I agree to let my maid go back for holiday during the school holiday? When did I get so smart?

School holidays are the worst, especially if you are not going anywhere because kids are constantly in your face! For working parents, they are stressed out trying to find activities for them to do while they're out working. Many opted for school holiday programmes that can take the kids half or full day. They're not cheap too.

I've signed my daughter up for this Choir Program in school for 3 days. It is going to cost us RM450 for half day program. But, I have my son who will be bored that 3 days without anyone to play with. God, help me.

To top that up, I have to cook (and clean up after the cooking!) and clean up the house. I am no domesticated queen. I am the total opposite. Even with a maid, my house looks like we don't have a maid. That is my fault of course because I should be the one tidying and decorating. I don't even decorate my house. I am THAT bad!

Feeling quite depressed right now. Happy Holidays everyone!
Thursday, November 29, 2018

Bad Day

Wow. I had such a shit day today. I don't know if I am PMSing but boy, I've had a long day. I can't wait for it to be over so I can wake up and feel differently because as of this second, I still feel really crappy.

Day started off OK. Nothing great nothing bad. 

I had lunch with my husband after window shopping for Piano. (Pianos are expensive! My god, I can get a Chanel bag with that price! Goodbye Chanel bag). We didn't buy of course because it is a huge investment and we needed to sleep on it first. 

Then I went to do my school runs as usual. While I was waiting for my kids to finish, I texted a dear friend to ask if she is OK. She is having a rough patch and I was thinking about her so I texted her. I didn't call her because I knew she was at work.

We chatted for a bit and she was giving me updates. I gave my opinion and left it at that. 

While I was at my kid's art class, I received a text from her telling me basically to stop asking for updates from her and I should stop giving her advice / opinion because what I had said to her, got her into trouble. 


That just totally caught me off guard. Like TOTALLY unexpected. 

She said I was being judgemental and next time I should think first before giving advice. First of all, I WASNT GIVING ADVICE. She asked me what I'd do if I was in her shoes and I told her what I would do. I DID NOT FORCE HER TO DO IT MY WAY!

WOW seriously. I really wasnt expecting to get screwed for asking. Honestly I was genuinely concern about her hence I asked. If I didn't care, I wouldn't have asked. 

I was really hurt actually. 

I had a good cry afterwards which honestly speaking, I don't think I deserved at all to get slammed like that. To make things worse, I am PMSing so everything got blown out of proportion. 


So I'm just going to BIBO and not let it bother me too much although it unnecessarily did already. I'm going to watch K Drama and enjoy my night. Tomorrow is another day and I will be the bigger person. 

Once bitten twice shy more asking. I am DONE!
Sunday, November 25, 2018

2018 almost over

Can you believe that 2018 is already almost over?

Where have the year gone?

Maybe I've been living in a capsule but I still feel like it was just recently we celebrated and welcomed 2018.

This year has been a rather slow one for me. This year I feel contented the most at the second and third quarter. First quarter was a bit shaky in terms of my emotions but second and third quarter was rather blissful I have to say. Now that we are closing off I have mixed emotions.

My maid is going back to Jakarta for a month in December. While I am happy that she will get to spend time with her family, I am also worried about my own wellbeing without her especially during the school holidays when I know my kids will be bored to death. My daughter is not happy about our maid going away. My son, he is indifferent. Probably couldn't care less. But this little missy of mine, has expressed her feelings about kakak going back many times and how she will miss our maid. Bless her.

We have done the permit for her to continue working and all that but whether or not she will arrive on the 8th January is still a mystery. Of course she tells us she will be coming back but we are not holding anymore of her money so basically, she is free to leave and not come back. The only thing we lost will be the permit that we did which is about RM900 and also her flight ticket back which is probably another few hundred bucks.

With maids, I like to think that they are NOT indispensable. I mean life will be tough without one but anyone can come and go. I keep telling my daughter that because she loves my maid so much and I don't want her to get too upset if she doesn't come back. I got to prepare her because anything can happen. The only people who are indispensable are your family. Blood family!


December is approaching and we have 1 more month before we bid 2018 goodbye. What do you want to achieve and do you still have time to achieve it? I think when you put your heart and mind to it, you can achieve anything and hopefully, we can close 2018 with a bang!!!!

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

For the love of Art

I'm a left-handed. They say we are creative beings. Is that true? I don't know but I do think I am somewhat creative.

My earliest memory of creating something beautiful was in standard 3. We were asked to do this drawing using candle and then paint it over with watercolour to create a beautiful piece. I saw a friend of mine doing it in class and it turned out beautiful. At this point, I didn't think I was creative but I remember thinking... "hey, I could do that too".

I did it and it turned out beautiful. Beautiful enough for my teacher to doubt my work thinking my dad must have helped me with that piece. He normally does all my artwork for me (I'm a lazy daughter) but this piece, I had done it myself but the teacher didn't believe me when I told her that I did. She was shouting so much (to make me admit my dad helped me) but I didn't say what she wanted to hear. After I had enough shouting from her, I lied and said my dad helped me when he didn't. So ya, that was the time I realised I had some kind of talent. I realised I am creative.

My daughter is left-handed too.

Apart from her singing talents, I haven't seen her being artsy like me. I mean she does draw here and there but it isn't anything to be proud of. She doesn't really show any interest in art. I still believe she is creative but maybe different from me.

Recently, she started expressing interest to do more art and drawing. I've done a few drawings for her and she will colour them. She enjoys that a lot lately. I decided to send her for some art classes. My son wanted to join too. He is not creative at all but he has the skills. Like, if I ask both of them to draw something for me and I give them a sample, chances are, my son will produce a better drawing. But he doesn't come up to me to ask me to draw stuff for him to colour, unlike my daughter.

They've been going for this art class for slightly over a month now and I love it. I love that every week, they will bring home some awesome for me to look at. I love that they're exploring different colours and starting to think creatively. I just love it.

My husband on the other hand, I think doesn't appreciate it as much as I do. But that's ok. He's not artsy like me, I guess.

Last week, my daughter started exploring with water colour in class. I have never done water colour before myself. I would love to learn but maybe someday I will take it up. It is amazing seeing how they can create something in just 2 hours.

The teacher chose this photo and he guided my daughter on how to draw it. My daughter only knows how to draw cute cartoons and that's about it so this to me was an amazing start.

She spent 2 hours painting with the guidance of the teacher. After every item painted, she will have to wait for his instructions. But the result was amazing.

Isn't it lovely? Maybe she didn't get the shading all that right but I think this is the most beautiful piece she's ever done. I am so proud of this piece of art. I think even she herself was pleasantly surprised at the end result.


Cant wait to see her painting next week. I look forward for the class every week. Worth the 2 hours wait. I just sit there doing nothing waiting for them to finish but every time, I get a wonderful surprise in the end.

I love art. Do you?