Monday, May 21, 2018

Salam Ramadhan

Ramadhan is here. Has it been a year already? Time really flies.

Honestly speaking, I am not ready for ramadhan at all, nor do I have the mood. I dont. I've also decided to take a break from KupuKupu this year. I feel like I need time out. My energy has run out and I need to find myself this year. This year I've only done few pieces for my regular customers and that's about it.

Doesn't help that we are also still waiting for my mum's biopsy results. I am expecting the worst already. I know I should remain positive but it is tough. Half of me is still in denial and the other half of me is just praying this is all just a bad dream and I will wake up from it soon.

But Ramadhan is a holy month and it is this month in which Allah opens His doors of mercy, forgiveness and blessings upon us muslims. InsyaAllah my prayers will be answered this month. I need to pray more.

It's only been day 5 of Ramadhan but I feel like I've done a lot of things. I took my mum for her biopsy on the first day of Ramadhan. I dropped my mum off at the reception and she went to register while I look for parking. Parking was a nightmare and I felt like it was impossible for me to find one after going round and round many times. Finally, I just said out loud "Ya Allah, please help me!" and immediately, a parking spot was available right in front of the main entrance. I felt like it was a sign to say He is there! Alhamdulillah. Despite the long wait, everything went well. Allah permudahkan everything for us that day. The wait for the biopsy report will kill me but Alhamdulillah, we are OK and feeling OK. We kind of know what to expect but we are trying to just brush it away for now. It would be a miracle if it comes back negative but Allah knows best. For now, we will just remain positive as much as we can.

Speaking of Ramadhan, Young Living is having this awesome promotion going on from now until 25th May 2018. The Premium Starter Kit is only RM680.40 this Ramadhan (normal price is RM756) so if you've been thinking of getting this, now is the time because I've never seen this deal before. Let me know before 25 May 2018 if you want to get this set and I will reserve it for you.

Have a blessed Ramadhan. Let's do good this month. May Allah bless us all, forgive all our sins and grant us the best Ramadhan. And please pray for my mama!!

Thank you!

Happy Fasting everyone!

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

I'm heartbroken

Exactly a week ago on election day, my mum dropped me a bomb. She told me she felt a lump on her right breast. My heart broke into pieces. I felt like I knew what was coming. Determined to stay strong, I told her to get checked and I went into denial mode. I pretty much sweep that information away to keep myself sane. This is the worst thing and somehow it felt like I knew it was coming. Weird as it is, I felt like I've been waiting for this day to come and it is here. My worst nightmare.

I did not cry. I did not worry. I felt a bit numb somehow. I just kept telling her and rushing her to get it checked.

Yesterday, almost a week later after she told me she felt it, we went to the doctors. I was advised to go for mammogram first and if they found anything, they will proceed to ultrasound and if they still see something, they can then refer us to a breast surgeon. My mum has been quietly researching for a breast surgeon since she felt the lump. She sort of knows where she wants to go to get it checked.

We went to Desapark Sime Darby Medical Centre. My girlfriend works there but unfortunately, she is away on a course in Harvard for a week but she sorted me out.

First was mammogram, yes..they saw something.

Then came ultrasound. And again, it doesn't look good.

My heart was crying inside but I had to be strong for my mum. She was already in tears. Her first cousin died of breast cancer last year after battling it a few times and she knows how difficult it was for her late cousin. I dont blame her. She must have felt scared. She didnt say much but kept crying. I didnt want to look at her because I know if I look her in the eye, I would probably end up crying even more. My mum is way stronger than me, in every single way. Yet, this broke her.

It has not been confirmed that it is cancer but looking at the ultrasound, the shape of the tumor and the position it is at, it is most probably cancer. Please pray for my mum. I cannot function without her.
She is my life.

Next step is biopsy. We couldn't get the biopsy done yesterday because there was no breast surgeon available. Most of them are fully booked. We are trying our best to get the first available appointment somewhere. We tried all the hospitals and so far, not able to find anything this week.

My cousin who is a doctor in Institut Kanser Negara managed to get us an appointment in Putrajaya Hospital tomorrow. I hope and pray for a miracle. Although the chances are slim, I just hope that it is still in early stages where recovery is still high.

I dont know what else to say but I am broken. I wish it was me instead of her that is going through this. The wait itself will kill me.

I know my mum is strong enough to fight this. I'm talking as if we know it is cancer but we in fact dont know yet until biopsy is done. But doctors are already telling us to be prepared because from the ultrasound, it doesn't look good at all.

What else can I do but pray?
Pray Allah will ease everything. Permudahkan this journey for her. Make it easy. For her to be strong and for me to be strong too because I think I am not.

Ramadhan is here. What a way to welcome Ramadhan. I am so broken.

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Happy Mother's Day

It was Mother's Day yesterday and I was in a bad mood, pretty much all day. Haha…

The day started really beautifully though. In bed, when I opened my eyes, my daughter was right next to me hugging me (she still sleeps with me!) and she said "Happy Mother's Day, mummy. I will love you no matter what". My heart was filled with so much joy. She is truly heaven sent. She's been sending me love notes and cute drawings all day.
How cute is this drawing?

The boys in the house? Well, they couldn't care less. My husband did not wish me at all. My son, was too busy playing his iPad and Nintendo to wish me.

I try not to get upset about the lack of recognition but then I figured, lets not dwell on it. Every day is Mother's Day. I dont need them to wish me to feel loved. It would be nice and thoughtful of them if they did but let's just accept that some men, couldn't care less. I was a bit upset but whatever. No big deal.

Then I started to realise that there are homework not completed. I got more upset that the homework required to do is something my son wouldn't be able to do by himself! It is for Geography and they needed to make a fake passport. I've done this when my daughter was in Year 1and now I have to do it again!!! ARGH

Thankfully, I still had the template in my computer. I just have to edit the name here and there and done. But as I was doing it, I got more and more angry. My husband was on his phone playing candy crush / reading the news and my son, is busy playing his iPad. WHY DO I HAVE TO DO THIS WORK TODAY????? I was fuming. Best part is, no one cares! Everyone was happily playing with their devices while me, THE MOTHER have to do this homework on MOTHER's DAY! How unfair.
At the same time, I checked my period tracker and looks like I'm getting my period in a few days, hence, my blood was boiling even more due to PMS.

My kids has piano lessons on Sunday and we were almost late for piano because I was rushing to sort things out, sort lunch out, pack piano books, get them to shower and get ready etc etc and yes, all this while everyone was playing with their phone / iPad. How nice! Every now and then my daughter will come and give me hugs and kisses and will wish me Happy Mother's Day throughout the day. She's the only one who cares about special days like this.
Beautiful 3 roses :)

On the way back from Piano class, my daughter dragged my husband to get flowers for me. He had to I supposed for finally I got these! LOL.

My daughter was so excited about it.

We spent time at home after that. We didnt celebrate it like others do. I guess, it's not really a big deal. It's ok. I know I am a mother and I dont need to feel special 1 day in a year. I should feel special everyday.

My daughter came into my life and made me a mother. That itself is special. She is just so sweet to me and I love her for it. I hope she will never change - although she sounds like a American teenager when she speaks now, I hope she will just stay this cute, this adorable and this innocent forever.

I wish all mothers out there a very blessed Mother's Day. Where ever you are and whatever you are doing or not doing, I hope you know and feel that you are special, no matter what. As much as I sometimes bitch about being a mom, it is the thing I am actually most proud of.
Friday, May 11, 2018

New Malaysia

There was a time when I thought my vote won't count. What could just ONE vote do? I thought to myself whoever is in power will not affect my life much. That was how ignorant I was. I never had any interest in politics nor did I care. I just feel like I'm just one person, I can't make a difference and why should I even bother? I have better things to do, surely.

I started to look around me. Yes, alhamdulillah, I live pretty well but when I speak to people outside this bubble I live in, I see people are struggling. A lot of people are. My ONE vote will make an impact to their lives. My ONE vote can make a difference. I was not convinced I could but that little voice inside me tells me you should at least try...

I was in Penang last year and I spoke to the girls working in the reflexology centre. I went to get a foot massage. They are struggling to make ends meet. Lunch for them is a packet of Maggi because if they were to spend more by buying food at the stalls down the road (which won't cost them more than RM10 per meal), their monthly salary won't be enough to cover their rent. That is how bad things are for them. They tell me things have gotten even worse since the implementation of GST. People are visiting these hotels less, less visitors means less people would come to get a foot massage from them. Things are getting more and more expensive for them. They used to make about RM3000 per month but now, that salary is cut to almost half. That made me rethink my decision to vote. I may be blessed to be financially stable but people outside the bubble aren't. I need to help any way I can.

On the 9th May 2018, I went out to vote at Setiawangsa P118. It was my first time. I am a proud first time voter. I could have voted before, yes, I could have but I didnt. Better late than never right? This time, I saw firsthand how my ONE vote, made a huge difference. I was part of this new phenomena! I was part of this BIG change. Wow. I can make a difference.

I voted for change and I got it! Alhamdulillah! God is great!

Couples who vote together, stays together 
Voting wasn't all that difficult at all. I woke up, went to my voting station which was literally 2 minutes drive away. Walked in and waited in the queue for about slightly over an hour. That was it. The process was done within 2 minutes but the impact was huge!

The wait for the results was long. Oh boy, it was!! I didnt feel too well that day (probably because I heard a not so good news from my mum that made my heart sank a bit - will share later). I felt my whole body crumpling down. I felt like I was really falling sick. I applied oils all day and by 8pm, I was in bed. My body couldn't take it. As much as I wanted to wait for the results, my body said "NO!! You have to sleep!" My husband stayed up waiting for the results.

At about 12am, I woke up from my sleep to go to the toilet. I've been drinking a lot of water lately (my new habit!) and my sleep is often interrupted. I always have to pee at least 2x a night. Reminded me of the time when I was pregnant. (No, I'm not pregnant!). I walked outside to check on my husband, he was half asleep and I suddenly felt like I should watch the results a bit. My body was still aching but I still wanted to see what happened.

I was shocked that results was still not out yet. Why is it taking so long?? Is this even normal??? Some hanky panky must be going on. At this point in time, I was still sure BN would win. They always somehow manage to win right? I still didnt see the power of my ONE vote. I voted for a guy I didnt know. I was so sure he wouldn't win. He is so young. And the other guy is a very well known UMNO veteran. So sure he wouldn't win, yet I voted against the odd. The underdog.

When the results came out that my guy won, I was shocked!!! WOW!!!!!!! My vote made a difference!
This is awesome isn't it?!

Finally at almost 4am, it was announced that Pakatan Harapan won. My kids got up and watched the news with us. They dont understand it of course, but they know that it is a big thing and wanted to be a part of it. I guess in a way it was like sports day, rooting for your team to win. I was happy to learn that some of my BN friends, whose family are contesting won their race too. I know they worked really hard for the people of their kawasan. They are genuine leaders who are truly in politics to help the people.

I come to realise that it is not BN that people hate. It is the leader. The top leader. But they have good people who are truly awesome leader to their community. Those, my respect stands with them. Unfortunately, to get rid of the top leader, there is no other way but to bring the whole party down. That is when Malaysian unite and vote for one.

I've always been a fan of Tun M. I grew up with him as an idol. And Tun Siti Hasmah, what do you not love about her? She's just the most amazing person there is. She's super cute too and very witty. I once saw them walking in Pavilion about 10 years ago. I was with my husband and I wanted a photo with them but we were too scared to go up to them (because of the security around them). Once we walked away, we saw so many going up to them asking for photo. Damn! I live to regret that day. I wish I had the courage to go up to them. They are very approachable and so lovely from what we saw. Hopefully someday I will get that change. May Allah bless them and protect them always. 93 years old. Wow. That's a record for sure! There is no other like him. If anyone can do it, it is him!

I woke up the next day to a brand new Malaysia. I am proud to be part of this new Malaysia. A single vote made a huge difference. I feel like we are stronger when we all unite. Together we are stronger. I dont know much about politics and honestly speaking, I am not too interested in it but what I want is a better future for all of us. So many to do to get Malaysia like how it was before, the Malaysia I remember and love. We all need to do our part.

Every vote counts! We can make a difference
We now have a chance to make a difference. Remember, every little bit counts! Just like how my 1 vote did!
Thursday, May 10, 2018

Hokkaido I love you

I just got back from a short trip to Hokkaido. It was a very last minute trip. I think we planned it within 2 weeks. I still can't believe we made it. It was awesome. I am falling more and more in love with Japan every time I go there.

Yummy Salmon on our flight to Sapporo
Since it was a last minute booking, we couldn't get a direct flight to New Chitose. I think AirAsia is the only direct flight there but the seats weren't to our liking. A friend suggested we try Thai Airways. Sceptical but we gave it a go and guess what? It was awesome!

Surprisingly, the seats were a lot bigger than MAS. It was way more comfortable! Makes me feel like MAS is such a rip-off. We have been loyal MAS customers because it is easy to just fly direct and we dont have to think about getting halal food. Well, perhaps we should explore other airlines next time.

Anyway, our trip was a short one. 4 nights only. Sobs! Definitely not enough to explore the whole of Hokkaido. We decided to stay in Sapporo, which is the capital of Hokkaido. Sapporo is quite a big city but it is so calm and not as busy as other capital cities are. Everything seems to move slower, I feel, which is so weird.

Our first day there, our driver picked us up at the airport. We booked via a website my husband found from google. Our driver, Yoshida was awesome. He didnt speak that much English but it wasn't too bad at all. He was super helpful. The initial plan was to send us to this restaurant for breakfast but he told us that it is not opened yet. He took us to another place on the way to Sapporo from the airport. It was like a R&R. Big area and lots to eat there. There was also a food truck selling Indian food. We ordered Nan Bread with Tandoori. I know, it is weird. Indian food in Japan? But man, it was goooood.
We also had some Japanese pancakes. It was nice too. My son had ice cream for breakfast. Apparently, that is ok. They eat ice cream all day.

After breakfast, Yoshida took us for sakura viewing. This is actually the main reason why we decided to come to Japan. The sakura season is over in other parts of Japan like Tokyo and Osaka but Hokkaido is up north and we are just in time for sakura. Initially we were supposed to go to the Sapporo Shrine but Yoshida said he knows a better place to view the sakura and he was right. It was beautiful. We went to the Nakajima Park instead for sakura viewing. It is beautiful. We managed to take a few beautiful family photos there.

I took my portable diffuser everywhere

We stayed at the Sapporo Grand Hotel. I didnt know where to stay. Normally I would do a lot of research before I decide on a hotel and the location but this time, I literally picked the hotel because there is a Starbucks on the ground floor. I figured, if theres a Starbucks there, it should be pretty 'happening'. Lame, I know but thankfully, I made the right choice. Sapporo Grand Hotel is awesome. The location was good. It is only about 5 minutes walk to the biggest mall in town (JR Tower).
Breakfast was also good. I had sashimi every morning. So much so until I cannot eat another sashimi for the next few weeks, I think. The room is also very comfortable. I have no complains. We wanted to stay in Nikko Hotel, which is the hotel connected to JR Tower but the rooms were all fully booked. Next time we go back to Sapporo, we will try Nikko Hotel.

It is actually Spring right now but the kids begged us to take them to see the snow mountains. We were told that theres not much snow left but you can still see some. Not the best quality but the kids didnt care. They just wanted to see snow. Off we went to Kokusai Skiing Resort. It is about 1.5 hours away from Sapporo town. Kids had so much fun exploring the ski resort. We didnt bring any winter clothing, obviously, because we came to Sapporo to see the sakura but since we were dragged to the ski resort, we had no choice but to rent the clothing. Surprisingly it wasn't cold at all. I was wearing my sneakers and a long sleeve top and a coat. I had to take off my coat at one point as I was sweating. My kids wanted to play with the snow so they had to rent the pants and whatever else. They told me that it was the best day of their lives. Awwww….poor jakun kids. hahaha.. Looks like we will be booking ski holiday soon. They loved it so much. Food was a bit difficult to get because they couldn't communicate in English but thank God for translator app. I showed them "No pork" and they made sure whatever they served us had no pork. They even checked the labels on the sauce bottle to see if it is ok for us to take.

Street Food in Otaru
We also went to a small town about an hour or so away from Sapporo. Otaru is a famous place for tourist. It is famous for various things like glass/crystal and also their music box. We spent half a day there shopping for gifts to bring home. It is a nice little town. Worth visiting. I wish we spent more time there exploring the town even more but we just didnt have the time.

The remaining of our stay was pretty much shopping in Sapporo. Still, it wasn't enough. I went to Sapporo Factory one night to buy food and I caught this Japanese singer performing. The song was beautiful. We were rushing back but I managed to record a short video of the song. I wish I had stayed and gotten the CD because I really love the song.

Awww Sapporo. I love you. I dont think I saw enough of what Sapporo had to offer. It is ok, this will only make me want to come back again next time. I promise we will be back!

Thursday, April 26, 2018


I'm the only girl in the family. I have 2 younger brothers. Growing up, I didnt have any girls to play with at home until my baby cousin was born, she's probably 10 years younger than me or more. She's not a baby anymore, of course. She's a doctor now, btw, but yea, she was like a sister to me. We grew up together. I would take care of her like a big sister would. She has 2 younger sisters too and they too are like sisters to me. I love having sisters around. I love the sisterhood. They're just annoyingly fun. I always wished I had an elder sister though growing up…. That would have been awesome. My daughter tells me all the time that she wants a big sister. I know exactly how she feels.

My best friend is 2 years younger than me. We met in school when I was in form 5. She was my junior but we clicked and became the best of friends ever since. To me, although she is younger than me, she is a lot more mature and a lot wiser. I'm like an annoying younger sister who would always come up to her with my life issues. She's always there for me even for the silliest things. You know, with my best friend, I am myself 100% and I am comfortable and she knows me inside out. I dont have to pretend to be cool…she knows I am not cool. I dont have to pretend to be prim and proper, she knows I am absolutely not. I love her. I love that although she is not my biological sister, she is more than that to me.

Few years ago, maybe about 5 years ago, Hampshire Mummy introduced me to this amazing group of sisterhood formed by Mamapumpkin. At that time, I didnt know anyone. I was happily living in my little shell with my small group of friends. The people I spoke to on a regular basis and people I see are that small group of friends, maybe about 3-4 others. I was happy and contented. I didnt need more friends because I have a great sisterhood bond with all my friends. But when I was introduced to this new group of mummies, my whole perception, my whole thinking and outlook in life changed. I realised that there's bigger and greater things out there for me to explore, do and learn. The support given was amazing. Not just in learning new things to better myself but in every single way. I suddenly felt like I have so many elder sisters looking out for me. Something I never had growing up and now I have abundance. I swear God answers your prayers in the weirdest ways sometimes. He does listen, so speak to Him and ask, you shall receive.

What I'm trying to say in this post is that I am truly blessed. Blessed that I am surrounded by really good positive people in my life. I have my family - my mum, aunts and cousins who are my blood. I have my childhood friends whom I love dearly and knows me inside out. And now, I have this new sisterhood that is constantly pushing me to be better. How super wonderful that is to have?

When I first started my oiling journey about 2 years ago, Mamapumpkin, Mom2Ashley and I didnt really know what we are doing. We attended classes together to learn more about oils. Now, fast forward 2 years later we have one of the biggest oiling group and one of the most successful one too in Malaysia. The sisterhood is real. We welcome Imelda to our sisterhood recently too. I love how we are always encouraging each other to do better and supporting each other to grow. It's not about business. It is not about making money (although we do earn from this sisterhood) but ultimately, we have the same goals and vision. At the end of the day, we all want the best for our future and our family. Alhamdulillah, I feel like Allah gave me what I've always wanted. What I never even knew I needed.

I am surrounded by so many successful women in my sisterhood. My tribe, I sometimes call them. We have lawyers, doctors, accountants, stay-at-home-mums, grandmas, supermodels (I kid you not!), ex Ms Malaysia, dancer, you name it, we have all types of amazing successful women in our sisterhood. If you want to join me in my journey to a chemical free lifestyle and you too, like me, want the best for your family, come and walk to me. We have all the tools to make this a fantastic journey for you too. All I ask is your commitment and passion. The rest they say, will come.

Email if you are keen to join this sisterhood. Trust me it will be the best decision you make for yourself and for your family. I'll be waiting for you!
Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Lunch with a view

I went for facial today in Bangsar. I am such a sucker. I saw an advert on Instagram on lymphatic facial and wanted to give it a try. It was pretty good but I dont think I'll go again. The facial was good but not good enough for me to come back. After facial, I had no where to go and nothing to do. I called a good friend of mine out for lunch. She works near the KLPac and we've been talking about meeting up for lunch there for a while now. Today, thankfully she was free and so was I.

Have you been to KLPac before? It is in Sentul. I've been here before many years ago to catch a show but I haven't been there recently. It is still as beautiful as how I remembered it to be. There's something cool about the area. A place you can come to do wonderful shots and OOTD. Unfortunately, I am not fashionable and I dont do OOTD. I just came back from a facial and my hair is all greasy and oily.

But imagine having a photoshoot here. So nice, right? This is like an abandoned area. Try driving here at night. I'm sure you will end up peeing in your pants driving out. It can be kind of spooky but during the day, it is nice.

We went to this place called the Asian Terrace Samira. There's plenty of carparks next to it. I didnt even see it at first and just walked inside KLPac. I had to walk right back out.

Asian Terrace is this nice little restaurant next to the carpark opposite KLPac, next to the Koi Fish Pond. This restaurant is surrounded by beautiful green garden and sits on a unique wooden bungalow. The view is amazing. For a second, I actually felt like I was in Japan.

There's a little maze as you walk from the entrance by the carpark to get to the wooden bungalow. Then you will find this amazing beautiful garden. It was so romantic.
It is a Thai restaurant. Initially we wanted to order just pad thai considering I am actually on a diet and shouldn't be eating rice but heck, we ended up ordering pandan chicken, green curry beef and veg.

Food was rather average, unfortunately. I eat thai food every weekend in Bangsar and the food tasted much better there I have to say. Everything was average but I guess the ambiance was nice. Although it was a bit hot when we were there because it was lunchtime.

I saw the dessert menu and got excited to try the fried banana and ice cream dish. It came and looked really pretty but it tasted a bit weird. I was expecting it to be sweet but it was salty. We guessed that they must have fried it using salted butter. Blehhhhh. I was quite annoyed.

Annoyed as I was, we finished every single thing on the table. I ate a huge portion of rice and that was a big no no for my so called no-carbs-diet! Argh. Diet fail big time!

The bill came up to about RM140.00. It is quite expensive I thought but I guess with the view, you can't argue much.

After lunch, we went for a short walk to the Koi Fish Pond next door. They sell them koi fishes there you know. RM888 per fish. They have different range and they're on sale. That made me giggle for a while. Poor fishes are on sale!

Anyway if you are looking for a nice romantic dinner with a view, you can come here. Dont expect much from the food tho. But I can tell you, you'll have lots of photos to post on Instagram. hahah sometimes that is more important than good food. Luckily for me, I had good company!