Sunday, November 24, 2013

Ready for school

My daughter is 3.5 years old. She's still a baby. I don't know what I was doing when I was 3.5 years old but certainly not in school yet for sure. I remember going to school at probably about 5 years old.
That was then, of course. How time have changed.

These days, children will start their preschool as early as 18 months. Parents actually do send their kids away for school at that young of an age. As much as I want my daughter to grow up enjoying her childhood, I don't want her to be left behind. For that reason, I decided that perhaps it is time for me to start sending her to a half day program.

I've been sending her to short accompanied classes since she was a baby. But that's different as they are mostly once a week type of classes and all of them are accompanied class where 1 parent/guardian is required to be inside the class with the child. I think she is now at that age where she needs to start being independent. She is really clingy (to me) for a 3.5 year old and I think it is time to slowly get her to be independent.

I've recently also moved to a new area and where I'm staying, there aren't many prestigious preschools or any big names around. Of course when you live in Bangsar or Ampang, there's so many good schools you can go to but in my area, it is pretty limited. Either that, or I just haven't found the right one yet.

I went online to look for preschools around my area or close to my neighbourhood. I can go as far as Putrajaya or Cheras and made a list of schools that looked good. By "looking good" I mean, they have nice websites, have a nice logo or have nice photos. I can only judge by those. From that, I made a few calls and cut down some of the unfriendly ones.

I finally found one which is not too far away from my house. I visited the school and they seem pretty alright. I wouldn't say they're the best but they're the best one I can find for now. My daughter seems to like it too as their indoor playground is huge. That is one of the selling point. She needs to want to be there in the school (alone) so when she likes the place, I think that's a good sign.

Choosing the right school is not as simple as that. There's a lot more things to consider.

1. Location - Since I will be driving her daily, I need to make sure that we wont be in the car for too long. I don't want her to wake up at 5am just to get to school by 8am. She's not ready for that stress. I remember doing that for years when I was in school. I hated it. I don't want that for her. We will try to find the best school in our area for now.

2. The syllabus - I haven't decided if I want her to be in international school or private school yet. I don't know if we should go for the international route (British/Australian syllabus) or stick to the local syllabus. I have my concerns with both but to be safe, I need to make sure that the kindy that I send my daughter to is an international standard, in case we choose the international route later.

3. Size of the school - I don't want the class to be too big or too small. It needs to be a good size. No point sending her to school if there's only 2 students in the class. She might be better off at home. And there's not much point sending her to a school where there's too many students and not enough teachers.

So you see, there's a few things that are important to me.

For now, Alhamdulillah, I found one that fits the criteria. I just hope that I made the right choice.
At the same time, I need to pinch myself too. I cant believe my daughter is all grown up.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Saying goodbye

I was already up in the bedroom that Tuesday night. My kids were still jumping and kicking in bed and wouldn't go to sleep. It was nearly 10pm. There weren't anything nice to watch on TV so I decided to join my kids in bed. I picked up my phone and saw a message from a friend "I've got some not so good news for you. E's mum passed away this afternoon. Burial will be tomorrow morning" and my heart sank. Like I literally felt like someone just stabbed me and ripped my heart apart. I immediately started crying as I explained to my husband what just happened.

This friend of mine is a very close friend of ours and I know my husband felt what I felt too. I knew it was not possible for me to attend the burial so hubby suggested that we go pay a visit that night itself. It was past 10pm and thankfully, my kids went to bed not long after that. We quickly got ready and drove about 45 minutes away. It felt like the longest journey ever.

How do you deal with death? I really don't know how. I'm 34 years old and I've yet to experience death of a close family member. What do I know? I don't know how they feel after losing someone so close. I can only imagine but I don't know how and what to say to someone who has just lost a mum.

When I saw my friend, I hugged her tight and told her I'm sorry. She cried and all that was coming out of my mouth was "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry". Words that probably don't mean a thing and words that cant make her feel better but those were the only words I can say. I felt really sad as I know her mum pretty well.

I've known this friend since I was 18 and back when we first knew each other, her mum was always nice to me and very welcoming. She never fail to give me compliments each time I see her. Always telling me how pretty I looked and always telling me how slim I was and she is always with a big smile. Each time I visited them at home, the house will always be filled with delicious food and whenever they visited us in UK, her mum would always bring lots of nice food from home and take us to nice places to eat. It is always food. I will always remember how much she loved her food, and how much I love her food too.

I cannot put myself in my friend's shoes. I don't know how I'd feel but I know I wont be as strong as my friend is. How do you say goodbye? I don't know.

We spent about an hour or so with her and her family that night and left. On our way back, my eyes were filled with tears. I kept picturing my own mother and I kept picturing how I'd be if something were to happen to my mum. She is my rock and she is my world. I may not express it and I may not spend time talking to her or being with her but I don't function without my mum.

We were talking on the way back about death and how one day, we will have to experience it too. We will experience losing our parents too at some point, unless our time to go comes first. Then we went on talking about losing our children. Some parents have to go on living their lives after death of their children. We don't think we can imagine our lives without ours. That made me cry yet again.

I'm so scared of death.

I'm not scared of dying. I'm more terrified about living when my loved ones are gone. I don't know how to deal with death. As we go on with our lives, we sometimes forget that we have so many people around us that might not be around forever. My grandma is 83. She is healthy Alhamdulillah but who knows how many more years we have left together. I cannot stand thinking about losing her.
I have my mum who is 61 and I cannot imagine life without her.

This is a sad week for me. I kept thinking about my friend and wanting to be with her the best way possible but I don't know how. I don't know if she would want her friends around or just want time to be alone. I don't know what to say to her. She asked me today if I think her mum is alone and scared and although I don't know what the right answer is, I just told her not to worry. As long as she reads alfatihah to her constantly, she will not be alone. As long as she doesn't leave her mum out of her doas, she will not be alone. I don't know whether that is true but that's all I can say.

Photo from google

Alfatihah Auntie Rohani. I will miss you dearly. I'm glad I got the chance to know you and I hope that you will be happy wherever you are now. May Allah tempatkan Auntie di tempat orang yg beriman. Amin.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Hello iphone 5s

I was using my iphone 4s for the longest time (1 year) and the reason why I didn't upgrade to the iphone5 was because when it first came out, I've only just changed to the 4s. If I knew it was going to be out so soon, I wouldn't have changed and would have just waited a little bit longer but that's the thing with these smartphones, you'll never know when the next one will be out!
photo from google

I remember using my Nokia 8800 for so long before deciding to switch to an iphone. At that time, iphone was already "in" but I was so comfortable using my Nokia that I see no reason to change phones. It did all it was supposed to do. I could read my emails, I could take photos etc so I didn't see why I needed to change. Of course, once you switch to a smartphone...there is no way you can go back.

Honestly speaking, I don't really know what a smartphone is. To me, I use my phone for almost everything including browsing the internet so although my Nokia wasn't really a "smartphone" in a way, it did all a smartphone is supposed to do.

A smartphone is actually a phone that can do things and functions like a computer. It should have an operating system that can run applications. That, is what my Nokia didn't have. Anyway, forget about Nokia because as much as I loved all my Nokias, I am now a convert and it would be difficult to go back.

For my 34th birthday (boy I'm old), my husband did not get me anything. Boohoo! But he promised me that he will get me a new iphone when the new one is out. When we were in Singapore recently, the iphone 5s was already out and so he got me my new phone.
photo from google

Hello there new phone!!!

I chose the gold one simply because it is different from the others. I think it comes in black, silver, white and gold if I'm not mistaken. Black/White is a typical colour of an iphone so gold is the outstanding one to me.

Since I chose the gold iphone5s, putting a back cover on it will just hide the gold so I bought a clear/transparent cover this time. I'm not used to having just the back cover because with my 4s, I bought those flip covers as I know I needed to protect them. My kids are always playing with my phone and you know how they are, they'll drop it here and there. This time, my phone is off limits to them. But still, they managed to 'steal' it a couple of times and fell on the phone which made me jump!

So far, I don't really see what's the fuss. Some say the camera is great, yada yada yada but to me, it is just the same. I don't see what is so great about it. I mean, of course the functions are a bit different from my 4s but to me, I'd be happy to still use my 4s as it was still doing the things I wanted to do.
But ah well, it feels lighter and has more of a classy look. So yea... I'll take it!

photo from google

One function that is cool about this iphone5s is the thumbprint scanner. It is cool and I was extremely jakun when my husband showed me how to use it. Funny thing was, I had it installed but didn't know how to use it until my husband asked me if I know about it. I didn't. Basically,  you need to set it up by placing your finger on the home button. This is a one off thing and next, instead of keying in the pin number to unlock the phone, all you need to do is place your finger on the home button and it will automatically switch the phone on from sleep mode. Like magic.

I was bragging about it to my brothers and they looked at me like I just came out of the jungle. Im not sure what technology is out there with the other smartphones so I cant say much but this really looks pretty cool to me.

But one downside of this phone that I'm starting to realise is that the reception and network for 3G is kind of poor. I'm not sure if it is because the network and reception at my area is low or because the phone is faulty or what but I never had this problem with my 4s before. And this 5S takes longer to switch on and off too. Whenever I experience low network or no 3G signal when I know there is 3G, I would switch the phone off and then on again and for some reason, 3G will be back on when I do that. Pretty annoying that I have to do that regularly - at least few times a day. Especially when I'm upstairs in my master bedroom where the wifi signal is low and that's when I needed 3G to work.

Whatever it is a phone is a phone.

I'm just going to wait for the next one to come out. See what is next!
Monday, November 11, 2013

Be Safe

There's so much crime happening everywhere. I mean we hear it on the news and we read it on the paper almost everyday. I really don't think we are living in a safe world anymore. Malaysia used to be somewhat safe but recently I see so many crimes happening that I literally feel like my turn will be up soon.

Few years back, my mum's house got robbed. It was a very scary experience but thankfully, no one was harmed and my mum & brother was not at home when it happened. Somehow the damage from that experience stays. I lost the gold bars that was a gift (hantaran) from my husband to me and even until today, when I think about it, I feel so angry. Not because of the monetary value that was lost but more because of the sentimental value of it. I can easily just get my husband to 'replace' it but getting me another gold bar (haha) but it wont be the same now, would it? No.

And as if stealing isn't enough, these crooks aren't afraid to kill anymore, or rape, or both for that matter. Having an alarm system installed isn't enough anymore. They obviously know the game(alarm off during the day and on only at night so they tend to rob during the daytime now!). One must always remember to take extra measures to keep their home safe.
photo from google

Please be extra careful even when you're at home. They're not scared to come into your home anymore. Tell me, how do you keep yourself safe? Do share your tips!
God, please protect us all.
Sunday, November 10, 2013

Welcome to my blog

photo from google
I've decided to start blogging again. Truth is, I don't really have the time nor the energy to sit in front of my laptop to pen down my activities and my life but I feel that it is important I take some time to reflect on life and my surroundings. I think it is healthy to do that. Sharing is caring, anyway right?

Since this is my first post, I want to keep it short. Thank you for everyone reading this. I don't know the direction of this blog just yet. I don't know where it will take you (or me, for that matter) but I will try to share as much as I can.

I do enjoy my privacy (I mean, who doesn't?) but there are some things worth sharing too.

So sit back and enjoy this rollercoaster ride with me. I welcome all feedback and comments.

Till next time...