Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Slowly Surely without stress

Everyone wants the best for their child. I don't think I know anyone who doesn't. I always try to give my kids the best I can, without stressing myself out too much.

I had a conversation with my husband a few times about the kid's education. He's always been on my side, wants to give the best and all but lately, his comments aren't inline with what we've always talked about. Almost as if, he no longer think it is important. After talking a few times about it, I get it. It's not that he doesn't want to give them the best education, he wants to give them the best to his ability and the best that he can afford. He said "If we cannot afford international school, how can we send them to international school?" The first few times when I heard it, I was upset. "What do you mean we cant afford international school??" But then now, the more I think about it..the more I look at things..the more I get it.

Education is important. If we cant afford international school, then we try to give the best by sending them to local private school. If we cant afford local private school, we try to give the best by sending to the best government school. We have options. International school is of course my first choice but depending on our budget, I will make sure my kids get the best within our limits.

There are other things too like food, for example.
Of course I want my kids to eat healthy. Of course, without a doubt that would be the best. But, I have one fussy eater in the house. She doesn't like to eat, let alone eat healthy! Since I cant force her to eat, I will make sure I give her food that she will eat and make it as healthy as I can. Im  not going to stress myself over it. It's just not worth it. Of course organic is the best. But sometimes, we cant find that much organic stuff on Tesco I just buy normal stuff. Stress free is important!!

A lot of mothers are doing more things than I am in ensuring that the kids get the best of everything. I have nothing but respect for those mothers but I'm not one of them. I have flaws and this is my way of bringing up my kids.

- My kids is on Ipad as much as they want. Thankfully, they don't want it all the time and they do get to go other things other than ipads.
- They watch tv as much as they want. Again, they don't although they can. Their tv time is only about an hour or so before bedtime.
-Oh, and I don't read to them in bed too. Sorry. I'm not those to read with the kids in bed. We tried and they didn't want it so I stopped stressing myself to get them to listen. Instead, I tell them stories in bed. They choose the topic and I will use my creativity and imagination to come up with a story based on the topic they've chosen. Eg: Turtle & Cat (my son's favourite topic). I will create a random story. Like the turtle comes to the house to play with the cat, games they played together, yada yada yada. I try to include their name in the story too, they like it like that.
- they eat junk food. I know its bad. I don't feed them McDonalds like everyday or anything like that but they are not deprived of it. They get McDonalds when we go out if they want to. (they only eat nuggets and fries anyway!)
- they sleep late. Yes. 10.30pm. Sometimes 11.00pm. They were on a routine once. In bed by 8.00pm but I got so stressed out during the day as they cant nap if I want them to sleep early. At night, I get help from my husband to look after them. And also at night is their quality time together cuz they will play while I spend some alone time in my room to shower, or pray or do whatever it is I want to do in my room.

So you see... I'm not perfect. I tried to be when I had my daughter and it was not easy so I gave up and be the best mum I know how - stress free.

To me, part of growing is learning and to experience different things. Personally I feel I should expose them to everything and guide them so that they know what is right and what is wrong instead of taking it all away and not giving it to them. (Ipad is the best example for this exercise). To each of their own kan....

Don't judge.


We have confirmed the moving date. Having butterflies in my stomach as I'm going to be leaving behind something so dear to me.

Thanks for the memories.

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Monday, April 21, 2014

Everything happens for a reason

Sorry for the long hiatus. A lot going on in my life right now and alhamdulillah, it is all good.

Kids are doing great. Growing up beautifully. That's a whole different post on it's own because there's just so much to share and I don't even know where to start. Good thing is, my handsome little man is talking. Saying few words here and there and it's just awesome. He started talking later than my daughter did and being a mum, I was worried but one day, he just woke up and started saying words after words and it was like, it most amazing thing ever. Never compare your children because they are different. Each of them are growing well but at their own pace. I'm just blessed that they are both healthy and such happy kids.

The biggest news to date is I will be moving. Yes moving again. And moving back to our old apartment. I had reservations at first but I'm starting to accept it better than I thought I would. I pray that Allah will open up my heart and my mind and guide me to the right path. I must say that I'm beginning to see things differently and happier too.

Everything happens for a reason. I do believe that now more than I did before. When hubs first told me that we are moving to this bungalow, I wasn't happy. Although it is 2 minutes away from my mum, (and I love to be close to her more than anything) I knew it was not the best idea. Like a good wife, I followed, listened and did what was told. Deep down, I wasn't happy because I was comfortable in our old apartment and it was close to everything else we were used to. Groceries, office, my business suppliers, school were all closer to our old place. When we moved, I had to adjust to a lot of things and after one year of being here, I have become somewhat used to this. And now we are moving back. Almost like we are going back to where we started. 1 year wasted. A lot of money spent along the way especially on the road, fixing n renovating the house and whatever else.

But everything happens for a reason.
If we didn't move here...
- my husband's health is one. If we didn't move, we probably wouldn't go to the centre we went to for his treatment that ultimately cured him. Alhamdulillah for that.
- I wouldn't have started a new business. I'd probably keep doing what I did and although it was good, I wouldn't have had the guts to venture into something new.
- I wouldn't be able to be close to my mum. A year living close to her was amazing. Better than a year apart but I'm grateful I'm near for as long as I can especially when she couldn't walk and needed help with transport and what not.
- my husband wouldn't have stopped his bad spending habits if we didn't move and probably will keep buying new cars. Having this bungalow and seeing all his cars in front of his eyes everyday (instead of at a big basement parking lot) made him realize that he's spending way too much on cars. He now knows it and is no longer interested in them. Amin to that!

There are more I'm sure but those are the big ones.

Thank you house for being our home and protecting us this whole year. I will miss you.

It is now for sale!

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Tuesday, April 8, 2014


I got my labels today and I'm a happy bunny. So many things to do still but I'm happy with the progress and on target!

Wish me luck!

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Monday, April 7, 2014


My daughter started attending play classes when she was about 6 months old. Back then, it was Gymboree and she enjoyed it as much as we new parents did. My husband would skip work or come back early to attend the classes with her. He was there 9 out of 10 classes and insisted to be inside the class with her pretty much all the time. When he couldn't, had to work or something will be my time with my daughter in the class. I guess I didn't mind just sitting there and watch because Gymboree classes for toddlers is nothing but relaxing, it is actually a total workout.

We used to send her to all sorts of classes to see which one she would be interested in and we did try to send her to school at quite a young age. At that time, she wasn't really ready to be away from mummy and we decided perhaps, theres no harm in waiting a bit longer.

Then we moved and had a baby and now, she's almost 4 years old. She's very smart for a 4 year old. She gets things pretty fast considering she's not in any school and considering she has not attended any classes in quite some time. I don't teach much at home because I've been slacking. My son is a very active toddler and I find it to be really stressful trying to get my daughter to sit and do some work without my son disturbing and wanting to join it.

I've given up all together.

I just let them play!! Play all day. Ipad? Go ahead. All day ipad? Hmmm...yeah why not!

I cant cope. I cant manage them both at the same time. It is really difficult. I don't know how people do it.

I try to get them to do activities together but it is difficult to monitor them both at the same time. Which got me thinking about do the teachers handle more than 2 students at 1 time. I mean, some schools have about 1 teachers to up to 10 kids. How do they manage?

Im looking forward to move. Yes, we are moving to another house soon. It feels like all we do is move. I'm so angry but it is not my call. I was so upset when we first moved in here simply because I was comfortable with the old house, and now, I'm upset that we are leaving this house because I've only just gotten comfortable with this house. I don't know when we will find our permanent home.
I know for a fact that the next house is not the permanent one. I give us max 2 years before we will move again.

On a lighter note, and another way to look at it is...I feel like Giuliana & Bill Rancic. They move a lot too. So in my head, I'm Giuliana and in my head, my husband is like Bill Rancic - although far off...but at least in my head, the picture is beautiful!

I hope by not putting them in school yet is not in any way holding them back from being great. My daughter is super smart, I may be bias but I know she is. She reminds me of myself when I was a kid and I know her potential if given to her the right way.

My son, is probably not as quick and fast as my daughter when it comes to a lot of things but he's picking up things quite fast too lately. Its just that hes not as vocal as her. But he knows things already and I can have quite a conversation with him already at 20 months. He knows what I want and he knows what I'm saying to him. I cant wait for my daughter to be in school and learn more things that mummy cant teach from home. I also cant wait to spend alone time with my son. My daughter is pretty possessive when it comes to mummy so its difficult to share mummy with her brother.

So many things on my mind.... I hope I'm  doing the right thing...

Still...Im excited about Kupu-Kupu...... Fly my butterfly....
Sunday, April 6, 2014


Early this year, I did a list of things that I want to achieve and projects I want to work on.

But God really had something else for me.

I am very proud to announce that my clothing line will be coming out soon! Yeay!!! I'm focusing on the kids line right now under my own label Kupu-kupu.

Raya collection is in progress and hopefully you will love it as much as I do.

Stay tuned!!!

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This is me. I'm always rushing to get ready and my daughter is always there to watch my every move.