Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Holiday bag

My Izumio gang are all in Japan right now enjoying their free all expenses paid trip. I am so freaking jealous right now. Every 10 packages you sponsor (i.e sell), you get 1 holiday ticket. I managed to get 1 ticket for myself too but unfortunately, I couldn't go. My daughter just started school and she needs me to be with her right now. Our "new life" just started and so we all need to be together right now to test the routine and whatnot. Although I got my free ticket to Japan, I couldn't go. But those who cannot join this trip won't leave empty handed of course, we all got RM5330 worth of products. Which, to me is so good because we all consume it!

So anyway, a bunch of them are on this Japan trip now!!! I'm so jealous!!!

Before they left, they were busy packing and on our group chat, they were discussing what to bring, which shoes to wear, what handbag to carry and it got me thinking about handbags. Holiday handbags.

What's your favourite holiday handbag?

For me, my LV is my favourite holiday bag. This is why….

1. It is big
2. It is light
3. I can dump everything I want in there

It is just the best holiday bag EVER!!!! I can put ALL our passports in there. I usually carry everyone's passport with me. That's at least 5 passports including my maid's. If my mil comes along, that's 6 passports to carry. I usually also put a small folder in this bag with all our travel itinerary (like hotel bookings and driver's confirmation letter etc). I put my small makeup bag for me to freshen up on the plane. I have my cardigan in this bag when I get cold. My phone, pen, sometimes my kid's iPads.
Basically, A LOT OF JUNK can fit in this bag.
I love it!!!!

This is without a doubt my favourite bag when I'm traveling by plane, for sure!!!

But when I'm out and about on holiday…. I prefer taking my Prada gaufre bag. I can't put that much stuff in there but its a sling bag and its just easy for me to carry and I just love it.

See? So cool right? So practical especially when I'm on holiday. I bought this 5 years ago and it is one of my favourite bags ever because I use it so much and such a good purchase! I would so buy this again (in a different colour). Mine is dark blue and matches all my outfits perfectly too :)

Anyway, the girls was talking about bags and I thought about my 2 favourite holiday bags. I would bring this 2 bags on every trip. But when I was in London and Paris last year, I didn't bring the LV and brought my Chanel GST instead. (what was I thinking?)
OK fine…It looks good and all but OMG, it was so heavy to carry around and although I can put all the stuff I wanted to put in there, it was just not practical at all on holiday. I'll never bring this bag on holiday again EVER!

While the girls and I were talking about holiday bags, they told me that next time, when I'm on holiday, I should carry 2 bags. 1 small sling bag (small as in, really small…can fit 1 passport + 1 wallet kind of small) and 1 trash bag.


The logic is, you just carry what you need with you, which is your money, phone and passport. And every other junk (like your makeup bag, your sweater, etc in the "trash" bag). Once you get to your destination, just carry the sling bag and leave the other bag in the car or something.


OK…. that's interesting. Now I HAVE to get a Wallet on Chain (WOC)? Sigh. I've been wanting one but to pay RM6000 for this is making me think twice! It is really cute and nice. OK fine. I want one! Why not?!

But also, since we are talking about sling bags, I also found these……. Quite nice right?

What about the "trash" bag? Well, it can be any bag because people won't see you carrying it. Umm……. But still!!!! Gotta match my outfit!

OK enough bag talk! I'm gonna save money to buy my WOC!!!

Friday, September 25, 2015

Week Two


There has been some improvements but the crying hasn't stopped completely just yet. oh dear.

With regards to the bully, few days ago, I saw some positive changes. They have become friends. Alhamdulillah. I don't know how it happened but when I picked her up they were saying "bye" to each other. They're not best friends yet but at least it is moving towards something positive and for that, I am very happy.

The crying is still going on. She's the only one in class crying so teachers ALL know her by now. They see me walking in the school and asked if I'm my daughter's mother and they will tell me how she cried. But they all say she's ok. Just that she misses me a lot.

I guess I kind of get it. She must obviously misses me because she's never been away from me for longer than 3 hours. Sometimes I forget that she's only 5 years old. Sometimes I forget that she's still a baby. It's just that she talks like an adult sometimes and when I talk to her, I don't see a 5 year old girl. Bless her.

Anyway, everyday it is getting better and better.

On Wednesday, she has swimming class in school. OMG. She cried her eyes out because she's so scared of going inside the water without her father to protect her. The swimming class was actually very fun but because she was so scared, she didn't see the fun side of it. "This swimming class is not fun at all!" but it really is, I was there and I saw how much fun it was. Poor thing.

Today is Friday. We walked towards the class and already she is starting to get herself emotional by saying things like "why can't you be there during lunch?" "why can't I stay with you all the time?" but I quickly turned the subject and when we got in her class, before she could cry, her teacher offered her a hug. She hugged the teacher and said bye to me. No tears!

During break time, I stayed back to spy on her. But I didn't do a good job because she spotted me from far. Hiding behind the pillars was a bad move. LOL. She didn't even come close to me and enjoyed her break time with her friend.

By the time I picked her up, she was in a good mood and was happy.

So hopefully, week 2 is going to end the crying and emo!


Oh, and today….. as we were leaving….the kids were all lining up and I saw how the "bully" say "STOP IT! STOP IT" to another girl. The girl didn't do anything to this "bully"but she said it in a very harsh tone. So I can imagine how and why my daughter was scared. This girl needs help I think……..

Overall, it is a good week. Could be better but I'm happy with her progress. Like I said, slowly but surely. I hope it will get better next week.

On another note…


School runs really is tiring. Gosh! To think that I have many many more years to do this………damn…I need a driver…

Sunday, September 20, 2015

First Week

We attended my daughter's orientation day last week and it was so good. Good, in a sense no one cried and my daughter was in the best spirit and was loving every bit of being in the big school. Naturally, because it went really well, I expected her to be OK without much fuss forever.

Monday was ok. Getting up early and all was alright. I mean, I am not a morning person but I made sure I slept early the night before and I was ok. My daughter was just excited and getting her to get up and ready for school wasn't difficult at all. She requested for me to send her to school and off we went. My husband stayed home to make sure our son was ok and dropped him off to school.

Everything was ok. I stayed on till about break time and during break time they had some cereal and milk. My daughter the fussy eater didn't want to eat that but luckily I had packed some sandwiches for her. She happily ate that and was all ok. I left after break and went home to cook lunch for my son. My husband wanted to pick up our daughter so instead of going with him, I stayed home. It was a relieve too because I was so tired by noon with all the driving and whatnot. He went to school early and was there before their lunchtime. 

They came back that day and he told me that our daughter was crying. I asked her why she was crying and apparently, she wanted to go to the toilet to pee but was too shy to put her hands up. It was only when she saw her dad peeping at the door she told the teacher she wants her dad to take her to the toilet. 

After further investigation, turns out, another girl in her class has been calling her names and telling her she's naughty. My daughter is NOT naughty and she knows this and so it really shocked her and hurt her feelings that someone would say that to her. (girls being emo and all!) She was really hurt. 

The next day, we got a text from the mummy group chat saying that school will be off on Tuesday. Wednesday is Hari Malaysia and a public holiday. School even put a note saying due to the bad haze, the school has decided to close on Thursday and Friday too. WHAT??? 

But come Wednesday, government announced that schools will be opened again on Thursday and go as normal. We got up and got ready for school.

By the time I dropped her in her class she started weeping again. Teacher told me that she's missing me. She kept saying she wants her mummy. Bless her. But I really don't think that is the reason why she is crying. She's crying because she is scared of the class bully and the reason why she wanted me was to protect her. She didn't want me to go but I had to so I told her that I will give her something that is mine and if she misses me or is scared, she should hold it tight and keep it close to her. I searched my bag for something and luckily, I found a scrunchy. I saw her grabbing it tight. Poor baby.

I walked away feeling so sad. But I had to let her go. 

I waited in the canteen till her break time and she was still crying then. According to the teacher, she will cry every now and then. Sometimes she's ok and sometimes she's not. During break time, she was still crying so I went up to her and told her not to cry. The bully was sat opposite her and I saw that girl staring at my daughter with a real evil look. She started crying more then because she said she's scared of that girl. Oh dear. A bully in Year 1?? Already?

When my husband picked her up that Thursday, as soon as she came home, her eyes was all swollen. I knew she must be crying for ages. After talking to her she was ok. 

Friday was the same. She started crying as soon as I walked out. Same thing again during break time. I had spoken to the teacher then and told her why she's crying and she's scared of this other girl. The teacher didn't think so and still insisted it was because she misses me. 

I came to pick her up that Friday. I went early. When I picked her up, she was in the best spirit. She was so happy and said bye to everyone. One parent even commented how friendly my daughter is and they couldn't believe that she's been crying. 

That day I spoke to her and again, she told me the same story about this girl. I kept telling her that it is ok, the girl was staring at her because she's beautiful. And if she says that my daughter is naughty, she should tell her that it is not nice to talk and say that. 

After shower that night, she sat on the floor looking at depressed. I thought she had fought with her brother or something but actually she was just thinking about school and this particular girl. I don't know why she is so scared and hurt by what the girl said and did. Apparently something happened in the toilet too but I couldn't get the whole story from my daughter.

That night she couldn't sleep. She was tossing and turning and just won't sleep. She was crying in bed too. I had fallen asleep but then got up and saw her still crying. I told her ok, she doesn't have to go to school anymore and she can stay at home with me forever. As soon as I said that, she hugged me and went to sleep.

The next day, she asked me again if I was kidding about what I said last night in bed. I said yes I was. We cannot go through life giving up. I told her that school is the best time ever and I had such a good time in school with my friends. All weekend she's been asking me to stay until lunchtime. 
I would but I have something on tomorrow. I have a meeting around her lunchtime so I won't be there.

I'm trying to think of ways to make her see how wonderful school is. 

I hope it is nothing serious…..

She must love school…..!!! Wish us luck for week 2!
Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Yummy Juices

I'm a huge fan of fruit juice. I don't own any juicer but when I was in London last year, in Selfridges, while waiting for my mother in law shopping, I stopped to watch this Kuvings Demo. It was an eye opener for me. For the first time ever, I saw fruits mixed with vegetables to make a damn delicious juice. I know orange juice but I didn't know you can mix ginger in it and it will taste so good! Call me jakun but that was the first time I discovered that you can do that. Duh? I know!

I wanted to purchase the Kuvings juicer then but the box was too big for me to carry at the time because I was also traveling to Paris via Eurostar and there was just too many things to carry. I actually already paid for the juicer and when they brought out the box, I had to tebalkan my face and ask for refund because there was no way I can carry it back.

Anyway, I've seen the juicer here in KL. It is a lot more expensive here and I've thought about purchasing it here but finally I've decided that I dont think it will be a good investment for me.

1. I am too lazy to juice myself. I can ask my maid to do it but I think she won't be able to do a good job.
2. For me to juice, I would need to buy loads of fruits and vegetables every week. I don't have a big fridge. We don't have enough storage space for fruits and vegetables.


Order my juice and get it delivered to me :)

Easy right? Lazy people's guide to drinking yummy healthy juices. Thank you very much!

I order it from my friend Cynful Pleasure. She also does group buys for fresh fruits and vegetables. She will deliver it to you too. So if you ever need fruits and vegetables, you can contact her on FB.

BTW, this is NOT a sponsored post and I get nothing from doing this review. I just want to share what I love and hopefully, if you are like me, you will benefit from this.

Anyway.. I've ordered a few times from her already. The first one was during Ramadhan. Back then, I ordered the green, red and white (milk + dates) from her. It was good but I'm quite fussy with my juices. Since then, I've made some changes to the combination and now I've found the perfect one!! LOVE it so much.

The Green Juice consist of spinach, green apples, green grapes and celery. It is so yummy and refreshing. I love this so much and my son loves this too.

The Red Juice has red apples, pineapple, beetroot, ginger, lemon and carrots. This is also a great combination because it is so refreshing. I can taste the ginger and this gives it a little kick! Yum!!!

The Orange Juice has oranges (duh), carrots, pineapple, lemon and ginger. This is probably my ultimate favourite drink ever!

And this is just cashew nuts milk…. Super Yummy!!!!!!!

I'm so happy!!! I ordered 8 juices for under RM70 delivered to my doorstep!!! Doesn't get any better than this especially during this Haze!!!

Drink your juice!!! And eat Super Lutein, of course!! (I don't have to tell you that right?)

Movie outing

Since the kids will be on a break for the rest of the week, I figured why not take them to the cinema. It is still considered being indoors, right?

They've been wanting to watch Inside Out since forever. I was bored too of staying at home. After lunch, I took them to the mall closest to our house. Believe it or not, the last time we went to a cinema was probably almost 2 years ago. My old maid, Rose was still with us then. It was to watch the Smurfs or something then.

Went to the counter to pay and turns out, my son doesn't need a ticket because tickets are only for children below 5. OK whatever. We bought popcorns, nachos and some drinks too.

Before the movie started, we had to stand up to sing the Negaraku. I wasn't expecting this AT ALL and this was strange to me. Everyone stood up but I think I was the only one singing out loud. I don't know why but it felt so good and I felt so proud to be Malaysian.

Movie was ok. It's not Frozen alright and nothing beats Frozen.
Both kids sat down throughout the whole movie although halfway they asked how long more before the movie will end. My son finished a whole box of popcorn!!! He even took a sip of my coke and he said he likes it. I don't give them soft drinks ever but he took a sip when I was not looking.

Overall it was a good outing.

As usual before going out, I warned them that we will only be going to the cinema and we will not be buying any toys. But somehow, I don't know why, my daughter saw something she liked in Popular Bookstore (I went inside to look for blue tags!). I had to say No. She was not happy!!!

So yea…Good day today.
Had fun!!!

P/S: I prefer Frozen too.
Monday, September 14, 2015

Happy Me

Yesterday was my birthday. We didn't do anything special because it is a school night. I don't want to take the kids out, especially with the haze and also I want them to sleep early. It was just another weekday night for us, nothing special. Told my family that we can go celebrate in the weekend especially since today (15 September) is also my sister in law's birthday.

Around noon I saw my BFF updated her instagram with photos of her 2 kids and the brownies they baked for me! How bloody cute is this??? I was smiling so much when I saw this and this truly made my day. They even put my name on the brownie! It's so cute I love them so much!!!!

My daughter got me flowers too. Bless her. Of course her father paid for it but I can so picture her asking the dad if we can get flowers for mummy. It's the sweetest thing ever.
She also wrote me a note. She's really the sweetest! I love her so much. She is really into writing letters and notes right now and I love it. I keep finding love notes everywhere and normally, it is always for me.

And then later before dinner, Mom2Ashley asked me if there's anything at my guardhouse. I was like "huh?" she told me to go downstairs to check if theres something for me there and if there is none, I should whack them! LOL. I sent my maid downstairs to check and she came back and brought me the prettiest thing ever!!!!!

I love this so much!!!! It is soooooo pretty!!!!! This lovely bouquet is from my lovely darlings Mom2Ashley & MamaPumkin .. Thank you so much my darlings. This really made my day….

All day, I received so many txt messages, fb messages and all to wish me a Happy Birthday. I feel so loved. So thank you very much for making me happy…. I am blessed!!!

Haze Haze GO AWAY!

Today, we got a note from the school to say that there will be school closure starting today. Tomorrow is Hari Malaysia (a public holiday) and then on Thursday and Friday the school will be closed too. Basically, we are off this whole week from school. Bummer.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't planning to send the kids to school in this bad haze anyway but my daughter is so excited about school that she's very upset that she can't go to school today. Poor thing. She wouldn't talk to me this morning because she thought it was my decision to keep her at home this week. Luckily she can already read. I got her to read the note from school and then she was OK.

Remember to stay indoors as much as possible and drink lots of water!

I'm glad that all of us are ok despite us being out in school and whatnot. Fingers crossed it will be ok. I bought the masks but it was not the right size for the kids. Most of the ones for kids are sold out! Sigh. I must remember to keep them at home next time.

I was out yesterday running some errands and the air was so bad it hurt my eyes. Imagine kids.
Luckily we have our Rainbow and air purifier. I'm contemplating to get those Young Livings essential oil & diffuser too. Should I? Anyone using those?

Sunday, September 13, 2015

I'm 36!!!

I'm not one to hide my age. I will be a little offended if someone thought I was older than my age but so far, people say I look my age. That's ok. It's still not time to hide my age just yet. Maybe in a couple of years if you ask me how old I am, I might still say 36!


Today I woke up feeling good. I feel great and today is also my daughter's first day of big school. I couldn't be more proud. 

She woke up at 6am. Wished me happy birthday and no fuss at all getting ready for school. In fact she was excited and couldn't wait to go to school to meet her friends. 

She even requested for no one else to come along so she can have a quiet time with mummy in the car. My husband was disappointed I think but she told him to pick her up later. 

On the way to school she was in good spirit. I am so proud and I know she will be alright in school. 

That's the highlight of my birthday morning. Hopefully I'll have a great day today. I have this feeling I will.

Have a good Monday and a good week everyone!

Pre Birthday Lunch

This year, I kind of forced my girlfriends to take me out for a pre birthday lunch. I told them WE HAVE to go out for my birthday. I told them, I WANT a birthday cake and I WANT Japanese food. I didn't give them a choice. (as usual).
My BFF suggested for us to go to her favourite Japanese restaurant near to her place in Saujana called Kogetsu. It's perfect! It is a small classic Japanese restaurant with amazing view and they have EAT ALL YOU WANT Sunday Lunch! Perfect!!! I wanted somewhere not too busy too so we can chat and laugh out loud and this place is simply perfect.

The haze is pretty bad today. Apparently it is like 150 or something in PJ. We sat by the window and although it is overlooking the nice lake, it didn't look all that nice because of the haze. Too bad!

First thing was to grab stuff from the buffet. I'm such a lazy bum so my friends went to take food for me. My bff knows what I like anyway. We also ordered some cooked stuff like Tempura and the beef teppanyaki which was really good!!!

You can see from here that most of the time, we were busy taking photos of the food. For instagram, of course! LOL. We need serious help, I swear!

We chat for ages about everything under the sun. Mostly about our kids, duh! Gossiped a little bit, bitched a little bit and pretty much just catch up. It was just the 4 of us and I think I love it that way. Because if the group gets too big, then it will be really hard to spend quality time with everyone. I like it when I get to spend time with small group of friends. I'm not very happening, anyway. I don't have many friends but I have a lot of GOOD friends and these girls are to me. We don't see each other very often but when we do, it is a lot of fun.

We didn't plan what to wear but I made a joke about it on our chat group last night about having a theme. No one answered me. I guess they couldn't be bothered. LOL
But somehow, we all ended up wearing WHITE. I guess this is what they say Great Minds Think Alike, right? We were all shocked when we saw each other.

So anyways, I was so full after a few rounds of food. But the girls said don't stop because then you'll really be full. I had to force myself to eat more and more but finally, I couldn't take it anymore. Well, we ran out of food on the table anyways.

Then came the birthday cake. The staff came and sang happy birthday with my beautiful birthday cake. Fireworks and whatnot. It was awesome. I felt like a kid.
While everyone was singing happy birthday and all, our cake toppers caught on fire. LOL. Call the bomba!!!!  hahhahah… It was so funny. Luckily no one took out fire extinguisher!

Everyone took photos of the cake first before cutting it. Of course. Instagram is a full time job, you know?!

After that we sat down with our cakes and continued chit chatting about Zalora. Yes, Zalora. My BFF is a Zalora expert apparently. She's a shopaholic and she swears by Zalora shopping. She even told us when is the best time to shop to get discounts and all the tricks up her sleeve. It was so funny. Everyone then started getting the Zalora app on their phones because apparently there's a discount for first time purchase using the app. She's a doctor by the way, she doesn't work for Zalora!

We were there from 12 noon till almost 5pm if you can believe it. We had to leave because they have started to shut the lights. I think if thats not a sign to get out, I don't know what is!

We took a photo outside the restaurant and it was raining too. We all ran to our cars feeling absolutely fabulous.

I had such a nice day today. I miss my kids because I've left them all with their dad and when I got home, they're out. But this lunch was much needed. It was a good catch up and I really needed to break free from the kids and hubs for awhile and just be by myself, with my friends and just laugh and talk crap.

The haze is still so bad. I felt like I was driving around in Genting or something. I hope tomorrow will be better especially after the heavy rain today.

I hope my birthday will be a nice relaxing one. My daughter's first official day in big school. She will make me proud, I know. That's a good birthday present any mother could ask for.

Oh, I got lovely gifts from my friends too…. Love them!!! It's good to be 36!!!
Friday, September 11, 2015


A friend sent me this today to wish me a Happy early Birthday and I love this. I think this is true…..(even if I have to say so myself)


36th Birthday Wish

It's my birthday coming up next week. How do I feel??

Honestly, I am NOT feeling that excited about turning 36. I had a lousy 35th birthday last year (long story). I was really hoping this year will be better but looks like I've lost the mood to celebrate completely.

Well, maybe not completely!
My girlfriends organised a birthday lunch for me this Sunday. I'm actually looking forward to go meet them because I haven't seen them since raya. That will be fun.

This year, I told myself I AM NOT ORDERING MY OWN BIRTHDAY CAKE. I did last year and every year because no one bothers to order or get me a cake if I don't. But this year, I told myself if no one cares about me blowing candles and cutting the cake, why should I? It's not a big deal anyway. But my best friend ordered my favourite cake for Sunday.

My husband told me he got me something. He didn't tell me which one but he told me what he got me. I wish it was a Chanel but its not. But whatever it is, I hope he's not kidding. I've never actually gotten a birthday gift from him on my birthday..he usually give them to me after my birthday or before my birthday. Hopefully, this year is different.

So what's in my wish list?



I think I have everything I want and need right now. Sure, a girl can never have enough diamonds…but ah…I don't need one right now. Sure, a girl can never have too many Chanels but ah… I don't really want one right now.

I just want to be Happy, Healthy and Work towards my passive income for next year. I have 2 years to work for it…so that's what I want. To be able to work hard and earn more money…..

Tips to deal with Haze

If you haven't noticed, then you are very lucky, because the Haze is BACK!!! It really is!!! It is especially bad today. On our way back from my daughter's orientation day, we couldn't see KLCC and KL Tower anymore. That means, it is really BAD!
This morning, we left home at about 7.30am and the skies were all grey. Thick haze was blanketing our KL view this morning.

I still don't get this. We have to deal with this kind of pollution all the time. I still don't understand how nothing is done to stop this. Since we can run away from this bad haze, we have to just deal with it and pray we don't get sick during this bad period.

Here are some stuff I do to deal with this haze. It's so annoying.

1. Stay Indoors
During this time, it is best to minimise your outdoor activities. My kids love going swimming especially on Sundays but for the past week, I have been saying "NO" to swimming. They will cry and show tantrum but I don't care. No outdoor activities this week.

Even when we are indoors at home, try to switch on your air purifier if you have one. Close all the doors and windows and switch the aircond ON. That's what we do at home. We also have our Rainbow Cleaning System that works to clean the air in our house too. As long as we are indoors, we are ok.

2. Mask
If you must be out, then try to wear a mask. Today, while we were in school for my daughter's orientation, I saw a lot of kids walking around with masks on, which is a good thing. Putting on a mask is good but your eyes will still be irritated because of the dust.

3. Hydrate
Drink LOTS of water. You will need to hydrate your skin and flush out all the toxins in your body. Of course, the best water to drink is IZUMIO. I didn't have to tell you that, right?
For us, we drink IZUMIO daily. All of us to and so far, we've been ok. It helps us to stay hydrated and healthy during the haze. During this period, we usually take more than 1 packet a day. My husband smokes and he drinks more than 5 packets a day.

4. Detox
IZUMIO & Super Lutein is a very powerful antioxidant. It helps to detox and flush out toxins naturally.   When you consume these products, it will help clear out nasty toxins from your body and make you healthier. It will also help to boost your immune system and making it stronger. During haze, we inhale all sorts of toxins and these are all harmful for our body. We need to make sure we detox as much as possible during the haze.

For those who don't want to take these products, there are other ways you can do and other products you can take for detox. One way is to drink more lemonade with maple syrup and a small amount of cayenne. Some people also choose to juice. I love drinking fruits/veg juices but I don't have a juicer. I haven't bought one because I know I won't use it. So for me, it is easier to pop few capsules of Super Lutein and drink IZUMIO. But that's me.

5. Eat Plenty of Fruits / Veg
Eating lots of fruits and vegetables is good especially during the haze. You will need all the nutrients from them to boost your immune system. Make sure you up your intake of fruits and vegetables during this period.

The haze will be with us for a good few days. It will not get any better anytime soon so be prepared. I see a lot of people are sick and have fallen sick in the past few days.

Take care everyone!!

Have a good weekend. Sob! Sob! My birthday weekend and its all Haze haze haze everywhere!
Thursday, September 10, 2015

Forgive and Forget

I've had a really rough couple of weeks. I still don't know how to digest everything but there's light at the end of the tunnel I'm sure. I still don't know how I feel about the whole thing but I pray everyday that Allah will give me strength. I'm so grateful that I have a good support system. My family and friends are awesome.

Thank you for sticking by me. I promise I'll be back blogging good stuff soon. I hate being negative but it is part of life. One minute up and one minute down.

Tomorrow is an exciting day for my daughter. It will be her orientation day for big school. She is so excited and I am too. I still don't know the plans yet. We don't know what time we should wake up, leave the home and how we are going to organise everything. We'll just have to wait and see.

Sunday, September 6, 2015

Being a housewife

I became a full time housewife since I gave birth to my daughter 5 years ago (2010) and I have a love-hate relationship with this title. I feel like you really don't know what being a housewife/SAHM is until you are one. My perception of a housewife is completely different from what I thought it was going to be. I couldn't wait to be one when I became a wife. Oh what joy it is to be able to do nothing all day. No more waking up early in the morning (I'm not a morning person) and I can hang out with my friends, go to spas, go window shopping all day if I wanted to. In reality, it is not really like that. Maybe it is for some housewives out there but definitely not for me.

In reality, for me…. being a housewife is:

1. 100% more tiring than working mums
OK fine, being a working mum isn't all that easy too. They have to wake up extra early (I'm not a morning person, remember?). Some need to cook for their kid's meals for the day, some need to send their kids to childcare etc etc etc. But being a Stay-At-Home-Mum is 24 hours. Less traveling time, yes…but it is tiring being at home. For me, I am extremely lucky I have extra pair of hands. My maid is a great help. I can't imagine being a SAHM without a maid!! I know few friends like that and I have nothing but full respect for these ladies. Although I have a maid, my kids still prefer me to do pretty much a lot of things for them. It is not like I shake my legs all day and watch tv! And for me, when my maid shower my kids or feed them, while I sit back and watch tv, I feel bad. I feel guilty. Almost like I don't deserve to sit back and watch tv when in reality, what's the point of having help when you do everything yourself?

2. Difficult to find Me Time
Sometimes, even when I'm in the shower, kids are bugging me. Sometimes, I even leave the toilet doors opened so they won't bug me when I'm taking a shower. Sometimes, they climb and pull my telekung when I'm doing my prayers. When is my "Me" time? When my husband is willing and free to babysit, which is not very often. I don't even get "Me" time once a week.

Last week, Dior KL texted me and asked me to come for this event they're doing next week. I said sorry I won't be able to attend but they find it funny and weird that I can't. Told them I'm not a tai tai! Maybe when my kids are a little bit bigger but definitely not now. Sometimes I think people look at me and see TAI TAI on my forehead! screw that! I am not. I WANT to be one ok…but unfortunately I am not one yet

3. Boring.
Same thing every single day. Sometimes I even get bored of cooking the same damn dishes. I'm constantly finding new things to do with the kids but sometimes, it is a lot of hard work. It's better to just stick to the same routine.

4. Lonely. No adult conversation
My husband is out for work early and come home late. He gets his adult conversation at work so he doesn't feel what I'm feeling. My maid is the only adult in the house with me.
I am not very chatty with her too. So who else can I talk to everyday besides me kids?
I need adult conversation. It is just healthy to have adult conversations because if not, you will go crazy. I call my best friend almost every single day. She works and on her way to work, she will call me and that is the highlight of my day usually. That 30 minutes conversation a day with my best friend. We laugh and make silly jokes and gossip. You need that. I need that DAILY!

5. No off day
I have never been away from my kids for more than 4 hours a day. The only time I've slept alone without them was when I was in the hospital. 2 nights pre and post delivery of my son and 4 nights when I had dengue. I didn't even get much sleep because nurses kept coming to check on me and my blood pressure etc. ARGH!

6. People look down because you have no income
This is one of the biggest issue for me.
I'm educated. My mum spent a lot of money to send me abroad to get my degree and UK education. Yes, a lot of housewives are graduates. Fine. Good for them. For me, I feel like people look down because I am not earning money. Maybe no one thinks that but I am just being paranoid. I don't know but I think I will feel A LOT better if I am financially independent. Thank God I am slowly earning a passive income. Slowly but surely my income is getting more and more. I am nowhere near my target but hopefully someday I will be. My aim is 2 years!

7. Keep thinking of the "what if" I was still working, higher salary etc
I do this ALL the time. I keep in touch with a lot of friends I met through my previous work. We all get along quite well and everyone is doing so well in their careers. I see them getting their promotion, I see them climbing up the corporate ladder and I get jealous. I wonder where I'd be if I didn't resign. I always think of the "what if"

But at the end of the day, it is the most rewarding thing ever. You get to spend more time with the kids and do so many things other working mums don't get to do. Little things that we SAHMs take for granted sometimes like taking afternoon naps together or doing homework together. It's definitely not easy to be a housewife and a stay-at-home-mum. You do sacrifice a lot of your time just to fit this role.
I hope Allah will continue to remind me what an awesome job I'm doing as a housewife and a SAHM because sometimes I don't think I am doing that good a job. I need constant reminder that THIS is what I'm supposed to do in life and not climbing the corporate ladder.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

It's going to be OK

There is NO such thing as a perfect life. I don't know 1 person who can say, "yes my life is 100% good" everyone have different challenges in life and everyone will go through ups and down every now and then and I am no different.

I am going through some shitty things right now. If you see my last posts you will probably guess but there are few things not right here and there about my life right now and I know I am going to be OK. But I need to also tell myself IT IS OK NOT TO BE OK. It is perfectly normal to not be OK sometimes. I'm also human.

I can't share too much because it is very personal but you know… I have so many guardian angels protecting me I don't even know what to say. I am so blessed and I have to keep telling myself that.
Life can't be good ALL the time, right?

Whatever happens, I know I'll be OK.

After I wrote that post about my "dad", I really wasn't expecting anyone to comment. I know some of my loyal readers will probably say something about it but that post opened my eyes a lot more. So many people going through the same thing. I get emails too telling me about it.

When it rains, it freaking pours I swear! I'm just waiting for the rain to stop. Waiting for the sunshine and it might take a while to heal but I hope this pain will go away soon.

So thank you.

Thank you for keeping me company. Thank you for reading my crap and thank you for being there, even if its just virtually, I appreciate it a lot.
Photo from

Now, it is FRIYAY… Let's kick some butts!
I've got Izumio delivery to do today.
Picking up my awesome sambal from my friend
Picking up a necklace I purchased from another friend

And then come back to cuddle with the kiddos.

Have a good FRIYAY!!!!
Have a blessed Friday.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Shopping for school

Last weekend, we went out to get my daughter's school stuff. I asked my mum to come along with us because my husband was not around. I have no idea which mall to go to but finally we picked One Utama because I think it should have everything we need there.

Items to look for:

1. Stationeries
2. School bag
3. School shoes + socks

First stop was Isetan. We went to look for school bags first. My daughter went crazy seeing all the Frozen themed bags and I was really praying and hoping that she won't get one of those because EVERYONE will be carrying the same bag. I am not creative enough to make the bags look different so please please don't get a Frozen bag, I quietly prayed. Of course she picked the Frozen bag! Duh!

We tried to distract her and took her to the other section. The Hello Kitty section. She's no fan of Hello Kitty. They are more expensive of course but at least not many will be carrying them. She didn't like any but we spotted this purple Hello Kitty bag and tried to persuade her to get this one as purple is her favourite colour. My mum even bribed her and told her she will get her those Hello Kitty stickers if she got this bag.

The thought that went in my head was, Gosh…..the bags are all too big for her! How will she carry them??? Especially with books inside!

She couldn't decide on the bags and we wanted to check out other stores so we put this purple Hello Kitty bag on hold and walked to Jusco to look for school shoes. Apparently they have nice white school shoes there I was told. We walked all the way to Jusco only to find out that THEY DONT SELL SCHOOL SHOES except during year end.

Luckily Popular Bookstore was opposite Jusco. We walked across and got her all her stationeries. It was so difficult for her to choose. She chose the Frozen pencil box of course. Sigh! Can they stop making all these Frozen stuff please?!!! All set. Stationeries DONE! 

Then we went back to Isetan to get the school bag. She decided on the Hello Kitty bag. Actually, I don't know why she chose that bag because I know she's not a Hello Kitty fan but after paying for the bag, I also saw my mum quietly bought the ridiculous Hello Kitty Stickers for her! School bag DONE!

Before heading for lunch, kids were bugging me to go to Toys R Us. Argh! I hate it when that happens because she (my daughter) will go on and on and on. Having the grandma around doesn't help at all because you know how grandmas are… kids get away with murder!!! I couldn't say no. She was doing all sorts of tricks and grandma said ok. She even spoke to her daddy and asked if she can buy 2 dolls. Her dad said no because he said he already bought them many toys (he's outstation and he just bought them lots of toys from there) but she insisted and insisted and finally he gave me the green light to go ahead and buy them 2 toys each. TOYS? DONE!

It was already about 1.30pm then and I was feeling really hungry. We went to Sushi Zanmai for lunch.
Service was super slow that day and I was in a bad mood.

After lunch we went to Bata to find white canvas shoes. Seriously, I have not been in Bata for more than 20 years I think. Probably since secondary school because we wore brown leather shoes in private school. But my friend told me you can get white canvas shoes from Bata so to Bata we went. They didn't even have that many options for white canvas. I was really disappointed.
I really didn't like the one on the right so I ended up buying the one on the left. And guess what, it's not canvas! It's actually leather. That's what they told me. This can be her spare shoes. We'll see if the school will allow it or not. Pretend we didn't know. We also bought white socks. School shoes and socks DONE.

By this time, it was already almost 4pm and I was so so tired. I scheduled a body massage at home too at 5pm because I knew I will be super tired. Just nice.

On the way to send my mum home, we decided to stop by just 1 more shop in SS2. This shop has been around since I was in school.
They sell all sorts of uniform and school stuff. I wanted to see if they had canvas shoes and they do. We found one that was OK design and bought that. So the right canvas school shoes DONE!

The next day, after kids come home from school, I took them to my daughter's big school to get school uniforms and also to get her books. Good thing I brought her along because at least she got to try them on and stuff. It was so cute. She looks so adorable in the uniform I could eat her!!!

Reminds me of school days where my mum used to take me uniform shopping and now, it is my turn with my daughter. The feeling is so amazing. I was so proud and feel a bit emotional that she's all grown up. Soon, I will have to let her go and soon, she will be away from me longer than 3 hours a day. Time really flies.

So all the stuff for school is officially ready. The next thing I think I should do is to wrap the school books, right? Do people still do that? Because I remember during my school days we used to wrap our books in those plastic cover. I don't know if they do it now, still. Do they? LOL

Stationery (pencil box, pencil, colour pencil, ruler, eraser etc) RM60.00
School bag RM135.77
School shoes + Socks RM168.46
School Uniform RM229.50
School Books RM408.2
TOTAL: 1001.93

Tuesday, September 1, 2015


You know, I really HATE talking about my dad. Hate is such a strong word to use for someone who actually brought me to this world, don't you think? If you know the story, you'll probably understand why. I know that at the end of the day, he is still my dad but for now, I still CANNOT forgive him for what he's done to my mum and us. Until I can find peace in me to forgive, please don't tell me to go see or talk to my dad!!!

I was his favourite. He was a good dad to me for about 12 years of my life. Yes, I will give him that much. I was pampered to the core by him. I got everything I ever wanted growing up and for that, I will  say ok, it is not ALL bad for me. But it was ALL bad for my mum and it was pretty much ALL bad for my brothers too.

As I'm a lot older and I could see the hurt and pain he caused my mum and my brother. It doesn't really matter to me how good a dad he was to me during that 12 years. He hurt my mum so bad!!! She doesn't deserve it at all. He didn't care about my brothers at all. I was the only one that got everything. Of course at the time, I didn't care if everyone else didn't get anything…I just cared about what I want and what I can get but now that I'm older, I can see, think and feel the pain they all felt. It must have hurt them really bad.

I saw how my mum would cry each time she finds tickets and receipts of all his "activities" behind her back. Hotel receipts, flight tickets, foreign currencies that she found….. I also saw how worried she would get each time he didn't come home at night. I remember how we drove all the way to KL (we lived in Subang then) to look for him because he didn't come home one night. He was out gambling and drinking. I remember it, I was there!!!!! I remember how he badly he treated my brothers too. Of course, I didn't care then but now I'm thinking about it and I get very very angry. How dare he!!!

My dad threw my mum out of the house because she kept confronting him. One day, he couldn't take it and told her to get out. I remember like it was yesterday. It was 10pm at night when my mum told us to sleep in our own room that night. She wanted to confront my dad again and didn't want to argue in front of us. At midnight, she came in our room (we were still up talking and wondering why she is not sleeping with us cuz we always sleep together) and told us to come with her. We are leaving this house she said. She didn't have anywhere to go but she took all 3 of us with her. It was MIDNIGHT! What kind of husband throw a wife out at midnight knowing she will take all 3 kids with her?????? We had no where to go and thank god, my lovely Aunt took us in. Within 24 hours we had to reschedule all our daily routines… changed tuition, find new transport for school because my aunt lived in Shah Alam and it was difficult to find transport to get to our schools in PJ. It wasn't easy but mum was strong! She did it.

She is strong but I saw her crying EVERY SINGLE DAY. Luckily, she had a job. A good stable job and alhamdulillah, she was able to bring us up with that job!

Within a few months, by Allah's will, she met this wonderful lady. This lady (a chinese christian) became her financial mentor. She taught her how to make more money doing exactly what she's already doing. Slowly, she made more money and soon, she bought her first house. Our first home.

It was a small apartment in Desa Petaling. It was just nice for all of us and it was perfect. It was our real home. After their divorce, dad would still come and see or call us every now and then but from once a week became twice a month. Then it became once a month and then once in three months and by the 2nd year or so, he stopped calling and stopped coming to see us. For the next 15 years or so we didn't hear from him. We heard from people (our uncles) that he got married and has a new family. We however, wasn't important enough for him. We didn't have a dad.

My youngest brother was only 6 or 7 years old then. Is it our fault that our father stopped calling???? Is it my mum's fault that he stopped caring???? Did she stop him from seeing us? No she didn't. It was never an issue whenever dad call to see us. She didn't care. She didn't mind it at all. But if he doesn't call us, why should we call him??? We were only kids. It is NOT our fault. He is the adult, he is the one who should be responsible for his kids and not us. IT IS NOT OUR FAULT. He is the BAD one and not us!

You know, we all had a fabulous childhood. My mum gave us EVERYTHING. She worked like crazy but we never felt like we didn't have a dad. She is our mum and she is also our father! We also had our uncles who were our father figures. Of course, nothing is the same like having a real dad but my mum's family really took us in like their own. My uncles would scold me if I did something wrong, my own dad probably wont.

Fast forward 20 over years later….

We 3 all have done pretty well considering our history and background with no father supporting us in any way. He was not with us physically and he did not help us financially too. It was all my mum's hard work. I am a mother of 2 and I am doing pretty well myself. My brother is a father of 1 and he's really doing really well in his career. My youngest brother is also doing well, single (and available) and still finding his "mark" in life but he is a good guy and brings so much joy in everyone's lives. I would say we all turned out to be pretty awesome human beings.

About 5 years ago, my brother got a recognition for something he did and somehow, our dad found out. Suddenly he called him to say how proud he is for my brother. WTH? It was so easy for him to track my brother down. He cannot use the excuse that he couldn't find us all these while. Especially since all this while, he's always been in touch with my uncles. My brother politely told him that it is our mum that he should be proud of because without her, he wouldn't be here doing this. His reply was "Betul Betul Betul" (Upin & Ipin much?)

Why am I talking about this now?

Something happened recently that brought this memories all back. I don't hate him for what he did to me, for leaving me…because I don't feel the loss. But I hate him for hurting my mum and my brothers.
I cannot find it in me to forgive and honestly, as long as my mum is still around.. I don't think I will. Even if he is really sorry about what he did, I don't think I can ever forgive him.

I dont pray for bad things to happen to him, of course. We were taught to always wish people well no matter how bad they treat us. So yes, I wish for him to have a happy healthy life with his family ….but I don't want him back in my life. I don't. If that makes me a sinner than I will keep sinning.

To the person who opened this box and force us to revisit this dark history…. I hope you are happy. I hope you feel complete doing what you did to us. But I'm sorry, I cannot and will not forgive you for the hurt you are causing us and I will not forgive you for hurting my mum again.

So disappointed. So so hurt.