12 Years!

This week, we celebrated our 12th year wedding anniversary. 12 Years? WOW. We've come a long way and Alhamdulillah, I couldnt be happier.

We've gone through so much in this 12 years. So many ups and down but we made it. 

My kids got us flowers (guess who paid for it?) and we painted a big painting for my husband for his new  office. No fancy celebrations but I honestly dont need anything more. 

Like any other couples, we go through a lot together. Marriage is hard work. No one is perfect and there's no such thing as a perfect couple but we try to be the best for each other. 

May Allah bless our marriage and give us strength to continue showering each other with love till Jannah. 

10th Birthday

Yesterday my daughter celebrated her 10th Birthday. Wow. What a huge milestone it is for both her and me. I've been a mum for 10 years. I can't believe it.

She loves birthdays, this girl. She is always the one who will remember everyone's birthdays and will insist on celebrating every time. I love that about her. Kind of reminds me of myself as a kid because it is exactly how I was when it comes to birthdays.

She had an awesome birthday this year. Every year, she would request for a specific theme cake. We remember milestones based on these themed cakes every year.

1st Birthday: Mickey Mouse
2nd Birthday: Sesame Street
3rd Birthday: Gymboree
4th Birthday: Pocoyo
5th Birthday: Rapunzel
6th Birthday: Frozen
7th Birthday: Beauty & The Beast
8th Birthday: Unicorn
9th Birthday: Roblox
10th Birthday: TikTok

This year she wanted a TikTok themed cake. Upon doing some research on ideas for the cake, she decided she wanted her cat to be on the cake too. Balloons as decorations and marble skin to wrap the cake. What an idea!!! Our cake lady got a bit confused at one point. The outcome was amazing and I got the perfect reaction from her when she saw the cake. That made me smile!

We got some flowers too for her just for fun. She doesn't need flowers and balloons but I just thought it would be nice. Her grandma got flowers delivered to the house for her too.

This year, her birthday fell on Monday. We had a celebration with the cousins and family on Saturday before her birthday and that was a lot of fun too. She had a cake cutting session with the cousins and then another celebration on her actual birthday. How blessed is she?

Since it was a Monday, online classes were going on as usual. Some of her teachers made it special by getting friends to sing Happy Birthday during their zoom classes. She made sure everyone knew her birthday was coming days before her birthday and when they sang for her, it made her day a little bit. But the highlight of her birthday was when I surprised with someone so special. Her best friend came over to the house after online class ended and weeped with tears of joy.

She hasnt seen her best friend since end of February and missing her so much. They chat every now and then via zoom but of course it isn't the same. I told her I have a surprise for her and it was the last thing she expected. I was so grateful to her parents for allowing her to come over to surprise my little girl. It was truly the best surprise ever.

When they saw each other, all social distancing rules went down the drain. They hugged each other and cried buckets! Bless them. They spent the next 5 hours doing all sorts of activities together which includes jumping in the pool with their normal clothes on, disco dancing, musical chair, tiktok, releasing the helium balloons, balloon fight, watched movie and they laughed non stop.

She thank me for making her birthday special. But truth is, I should be the one saying thanks. Without her, I wouldn't be the mum I am today.

I thank God for blessing me with this most special gift. I couldn't ask for a better daughter. She's funny, she makes me laugh. She's cute, my heart flutters. She's the most caring person in the house. She always checks if I'm ok. She's always giving me hugs and kisses. The one who hugs me when I cry and always has my back. I love her and I can't imagine life without her. She's the perfect daughter.

Happy Birthday sweetheart.
Mummy is so proud of you. I love you with all my heart. I pray for Allah to always protect you and guide you on the right path always.

Happy 10th to us!

Innalillahiwainnailaihirojiun

photo credit: A Medium Corporation

6 April 2020

Today is my youngest brother’s birthday. He turned 36 today and I can promise you, it is the saddest birthday he has ever had.

My beloved grandma (Tokmi), who would have been 90 this October passed away early yesterday morning. It is the first death of a close family member for me and I can tell you, the pain is almost unbearable for us. She was our rock. She was the glue that glued us together. We don’t know how to function without her.

Arwah Tokmi was a super strong lady. If you were lucky enough to know her, you would be in love with her forever. She’s the most gentle soul but don’t be fooled by her calm demeanor. She’s strong as a rock!

Arwah Tokbah left her when my uncles and aunts were still in school. My mom is the eldest and she had to work to help support the family. Tokmi struggled to make it work but she did it. She had a successful catering business and cooking was her passion. She was a great cook, if not the greatest!

She was just the sweetest grandma anyone can ever ask for. I cannot pick and choose stories to describe our relationship but rest assured we had plenty. She’s just the best. I am always and forever her favourite granddaughter (even if I have to say so myself). I was the first grandchild and the only granddaughter for a long time so to me, I take that as I’m the special one. But truth is, all her grandchildren are special to her and we all feel like we are her favourite. She was awesome to each and every one of her 16 grandchildren. We will all miss her so much. Words just cannot describe how much pain we feel inside.

In 2007, we had the first scare. She was diagnosed with cervical cancer. She was 77 years old. I remember I got the news when I was in Langkawi. I couldn’t function, I had to fly back. I did just in time for her surgery and spent few nights in the hospital with her. Alhamdulillah they managed to remove the cancer and no further treatment was needed. She recovered very well. Allah gave us more time with her. 

Almost 10 years later, we had another scare. This time, she was diagnosed with skin cancer. Again, they managed to remove it and no further treatment was necessary. Alhamdulillah it all went well without any complications. Other than that, she’s healthier than most people her age. She didn’t have any other illnesses and therefore surgeries for both cancer went well. 

Few years ago, we noticed that she has mild symptoms of dementia. It was really tough to manage her because dementia made her personality change quite drastically. I see my grandma slipping away. It hurt so much when she couldn’t remember who I was. But yet I was still happy to see her and although she had no clue who I was, every time I came to see her, her eyes light up and wouldn’t let me go home. She would ask me who I was repeatedly but yet she won’t let go my hands. 

Her condition deteriorated quite bad quite fast. Soon, she couldn’t even talk as normal. Making a complete sentence seems difficult and sometimes, sentences don't make sense anymore. She couldn't tell when she was hungry, she couldn't say when she was sleepy, she couldn't express herself anymore. It was heartbreaking to see someone you love getting to that stage. I always pray for Allah to ease her journey. Though she is not in any pain, seeing her being pretty much lifeless breaks our heart. She couldn’t say what she wanted. We couldn’t understand her.

Few months back, her health has deteriorated even more. She had some internal bleeding and had multiple small strokes. It isn’t looking good at all but she kept fighting to live. After a few trips to the hospital she was back home and she got better. One time I thought we had lost her but she came back stronger. I guess her time was not up yet. She was not giving up despite how tough things were. 

Few days before I went to Mekah, I went to visit her to say goodbye. She couldn’t speak and sentences don’t make sense but when I said "Assalamualaikum", she would answer "Walaikumsalam". It was very clear unlike the other words she utters. I would say it many times and she would reply back every single time. It was the only way I know how to get a response from her and although we couldn’t say much to each other, having her reply to my salam felt more than enough. She was no longer feeding using the tube like she had to few months prior to that so in a way, I was glad to see her getting to eat like normal.

In Mekah, she was constantly in my prayers. I asked Allah to protect her and if her duties in this world is over, please take her the best possible way and the easiest way. Make her comfortable and for Allah to give strength to all the people taking care of her at home. It isn’t easy to care for a 90 year old.

On the 5th April 2020, few months short of her 90th birthday, my beloved Tokmi passed away peacefully in Putrajaya Hospital. I am happy I got to see her and kissed her for the last time. I am happy I got to tell her I loved her dearly that day before she passed. Although she was already in a coma, I know she could hear me. It broke my heart, crushed my world but I trust Allah is the best planner. Al-Fatihah. 

May Allah forgive all her sins, magnify her rewards and make her resting place better than her place in this world. We love you Tokmi. Thank you for being the best grandma I could ever ask for. I hope that I made you proud. I hope I made you happy but most importantly I hope you always feel loved by me. I do Tokmi. I love you so much. May we see each other again soon. Al- fatihah

I will miss you forever Tokmi.... 

Sariffa Anon
30 Oct 1930 - 5 April 2020

Yummy fruit salad

This is my favorite fruit salad and I just found out how to make them. It is Soo simple but yet so yummy. There's two version of it. One is sweet and one is sour. See which one suits your taste buds but to me, both are supper yummy. 

Try it.

Sweet fruit cocktail salad

This are the ingredients

- one large fruit cocktail in a can (remove the juice)

- 1 pack of whipping cream (250ml)

- 1 apple cut in cubes

- some raisins

- condensed milk

Basically just need to mix all the items together and you're done. Leave the condensed milk last as you won't need the whole can. Taste to suit your taste as too much of condensed milk will make it a bit too sweet.

Easy isn't it?

This is what it looks like. The sauce is yummy and sweet!

Another version of it is the sour one. The ingredients that you need are the same, except that instead of the condensed milk, replace it with evaporated milk.

Sour Fruit Salad

- one large fruit cocktail in a can

- 1 pack of whipping cream (250ml)

- 1 apple cut in cubes

- some raisins

- evaporated milk

- some lime juice (limau kasturi)

It's really yummy.

The way you do it is slighly different as for the sour salad, you don't need to throw the juice from the fruit cocktail. If you like it dry-ish then you can throw some of the juice away. Mix all the stuff together and add lime juice to make it masam.

For both salad, once it's done, keep it in the freezer till it is cold and eat it when it is cold. It is heavenly I swear!

Enjoy!