A day before raya, I went to ziarah my grandma's kubur. It is heartbreaking not having her around. I am 40 years old and I have never celebrated Raya without my Tokmi. This is very painful for me. I went to visit her grave and doa that she is ok. I still have tears in my eyes thinking about her. I miss her so much.
This year's raya is a lot different from previous years. Initially I didnt want to get any baju raya because I am not exactly in the mood to raya but I need to make it somewhat special for my kids. It is raya afterall. I ordered their baju raya online just to support other local business. But unfortunately, when it arrived, the size dont fit. I was bummed! No time to get a refund too. I ordered my baju raya from Zalora but when it arrived, somehow it doesnt suit me. I managed to get a refund but it was too late to order a different one. Ah well, I guess it wasnt meant to be.
We all wore whatever we had. It took me a long time to decide on my scarf. I am just not used to it and I dont know what suits me yet. Finally, I went with the simplest and easiest - a black square! Cant go wrong with that.
In the morning, we went to my mother in law's house. We had our own quiet time with my mother in law and spent quite a few hours there. By 2pm, we were back at home to rest. Next, was to my mom's house in the evening. We took turns to visit to make sure that we comply to the regulations set by the government. Raya is usually a very busy time with lots of relatives visiting both my mother in law's house and my mom's. Both houses would have more than 20 pax under normal raya conditions but this year is different, we all took turns to come. It worked out fine.
Although we are missing our rayas with relatives, we must remember that this fight against Covid-19 is not even near the finishing line. We have to do our part to stop it from spreading as even someone without any obvious symptoms can carry the virus.
Raya was a very bittersweet one for me. Although we had an amazing time and quality time with our loved ones, we are missing the most important person in my life. My Tokmi. May Allah bless her soul.
Selamat Hari Raya to all and Maaf Zahir Batin.
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