Makkah has never really been on my list. I am ashamed to say this but truth is, it never really was. I guess if you asked me, I would probably name a dozen of places I would want to go and Makkah is not on that list. Why? I don't know.For one, I've never been a religious person. I believe in my religion and don't doubt it but I was never religious. 2 years ago, my husband started his spiritual journey. He went to Makkah and came back with a totally different perspective. He loved it there and kept saying that he wants to take all of us there. Each time he talks about Makkah, I felt guilty. Guilty that I don't have that much enthusiasm as him. He lights up whenever he talks about how wonderful Makkah is and how amazing his experience was but sadly, I did not share that enthusiasm. I really felt ashamed. I acknowledged that he had an amazing time but somehow it wasn't enough to make me want to go there, if you know what I mean.
These stories kept going on for almost 2 years until one day, slowly but surely, I became more and more interested to go. I don't remember what or how that happened but slowly, I started purchasing hijabs for Umrah. (Not those duckscarves type of hijabs but more of those long covered ones - I think they are called Kimar). They're not exactly the most flattering, but soon I find myself purchasing more and more of it, secretly.
It was not until the last minute that we confirmed our trip to Makkah. I think it was 2 weeks to the date and we haven't done any preparations for it. We decided to take our maid along with us and I had to make sure she had all the right clothes and whatnot for it too.
Preparing myself and my kids mentality is important too. I needed to make sure that my kids know this is not a typical "holiday". I want them to get excited too. Everyday we try to have a conversation about it and Alhamdulillah, they were looking forward to it as much as we did.
My husband did all the planning for the trip with zero input from me. This doesn't happen for any other holiday or trips as I will always be in charge of logistics but for this trip, since he has the experience, he organised everything. We did not go the usual route by just signing up with a package with an agency. He customised the trip according to his preference and what would suit us the most.
Few weeks before my trip, when we finally confirmed the dates and itinerary, everyone who knew about us going for Umrah started reaching out to me. Many offered tips, advice and shared stories with me about their trip as it was going to be my first time. To be honest, at this point, I have zero expectations of how it is going to be and reading about it doesn't give me much input. Listening to stories helped me get some kind of idea about how it is going to be.
A friend of mine, who is a school mom asked to meet up for lunch. I met her one day and she gave me lots of books to read and some other items like a mini sejadah and socks for me to wear in Makkah. MasyaAllah, I was so touched. I wasn't expecting anything from anyone let alone a school mom whom I hardly see and meet. Another friend gave me telekung. I got calls and texts from friends wishing me well and telling me how great a time I will have in Makkah. All this is so surreal for me. I still didn't understand why they are so excited for me.
My mum was most excited. She literally bought me my whole Makkah wardrobe. She got me every single tudung, kimar, gloves, socks everything I needed, she got it for me. She said Allah answered her prayers and she was so happy that I will be going there. The only thing I bought for myself was a telekung, 1 jubah and a few tudungs. The rest was gifts from friends and mostly from my mum. How blessed was I?
Despite all the books that I have read about Makkah and Umrah, I still felt like I wasn't ready. I still felt like I am not worthy of going. I still feel clueless. I bought this book for my kids "We are off to make Umrah" from Imaan Kids and surprisingly, that book helped me understand the process the most. It helped the kids understand as it comes with a poster and paper dolls to enact the process of performing Umrah in the simplest way.
We also had our Mutawif to come over to the house and give us a short session too which was really useful. Alhamdulillah, we are all set to go.
One thing I learned was, one shouldn't be scared to go to Makkah. I know I was. We are all sinners and can't run away from that. That should stop you from performing Umrah. Many stories will tell you about the 'punishment' one might get when you are there but you shouldn't be scared. Allah is the most forgiving. As long as you want to be better, as long as you are ikhlas in your intentions, InsyaAllah, it will all be OK. I think this was one reason why I wasn't too keen about going to Makkah at first. I was worried about how I would be when I'm there. People keep stressing about these challenges that you might face there but they don't tell you enough about the beautiful things that you will experience. I think when you are visiting a holy place, you should focus on the beautiful things and just stay positive.
InsyaAllah, it will be a life changing experience.
My husband did all the planning for the trip with zero input from me. This doesn't happen for any other holiday or trips as I will always be in charge of logistics but for this trip, since he has the experience, he organised everything. We did not go the usual route by just signing up with a package with an agency. He customised the trip according to his preference and what would suit us the most.
Few weeks before my trip, when we finally confirmed the dates and itinerary, everyone who knew about us going for Umrah started reaching out to me. Many offered tips, advice and shared stories with me about their trip as it was going to be my first time. To be honest, at this point, I have zero expectations of how it is going to be and reading about it doesn't give me much input. Listening to stories helped me get some kind of idea about how it is going to be.
A friend of mine, who is a school mom asked to meet up for lunch. I met her one day and she gave me lots of books to read and some other items like a mini sejadah and socks for me to wear in Makkah. MasyaAllah, I was so touched. I wasn't expecting anything from anyone let alone a school mom whom I hardly see and meet. Another friend gave me telekung. I got calls and texts from friends wishing me well and telling me how great a time I will have in Makkah. All this is so surreal for me. I still didn't understand why they are so excited for me.
My mum was most excited. She literally bought me my whole Makkah wardrobe. She got me every single tudung, kimar, gloves, socks everything I needed, she got it for me. She said Allah answered her prayers and she was so happy that I will be going there. The only thing I bought for myself was a telekung, 1 jubah and a few tudungs. The rest was gifts from friends and mostly from my mum. How blessed was I?
Despite all the books that I have read about Makkah and Umrah, I still felt like I wasn't ready. I still felt like I am not worthy of going. I still feel clueless. I bought this book for my kids "We are off to make Umrah" from Imaan Kids and surprisingly, that book helped me understand the process the most. It helped the kids understand as it comes with a poster and paper dolls to enact the process of performing Umrah in the simplest way.
We also had our Mutawif to come over to the house and give us a short session too which was really useful. Alhamdulillah, we are all set to go.
One thing I learned was, one shouldn't be scared to go to Makkah. I know I was. We are all sinners and can't run away from that. That should stop you from performing Umrah. Many stories will tell you about the 'punishment' one might get when you are there but you shouldn't be scared. Allah is the most forgiving. As long as you want to be better, as long as you are ikhlas in your intentions, InsyaAllah, it will all be OK. I think this was one reason why I wasn't too keen about going to Makkah at first. I was worried about how I would be when I'm there. People keep stressing about these challenges that you might face there but they don't tell you enough about the beautiful things that you will experience. I think when you are visiting a holy place, you should focus on the beautiful things and just stay positive.
InsyaAllah, it will be a life changing experience.
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